Broken Hearts
by Emmalia and Kaitlyn
Summary: What happens when Zoey rejects the Change because she's left alone? Will she ever forgive Loren? Who will she choose? And, in the end, will she be able to fulfill her destiny? Read and Review. Rated M for language and SOME lemons.
1. Brokenhearted

**Okay. Here's mission impossible. Imma gonna write a non Loren x Zoey fanfic. They will, most likely, be together in the end but I'm not gonna make that happen until then. If this is successful, I will make a sequel. But I'm gonna need some help from you guys. If they get a little too close, you tell me. I don't want them to be together until the end... well, I want them to but not for this fanfic. **

**We— Cyara and I —have a few others helping us with this story and with us staying on track, seeing how both of us are Zoey x Loren fans. Our special writers are Evangeline Danials, some of you may have heard of her from one of our other fanfics, and Adam Mila, same as Evangeline. **

**So... here's your fanfic. **

**Disclaimer: The following is for this chapter and all following chapters in this Jessica and Cyara Baylin fanfic: We do NOT own ANY of the House of Night series. All is owned by the Dynamic Duo. **

**POV and AN Key: Zoey**/Zoey **Loren**/_Loren_

**Broken Hearts**

**A Jessica and Cyara Baylin fanfic**

Chapter One

~_Brokenhearted_~

There was a knock on my door and I hastily wiped the tears off of my face. I got up and opened the door.

"Oh. It's just you. Great." I barely whispered.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. I went back over to my bed and plopped back down on it. I threw the covers over my head.

"Go away." I mumbled.

"Zoey—" I cut him off. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to see him or think about him.

"Go. Away." I said. I mentally groaned. I sounded horrible. I sounded like a freakin' zombie or something.

Dead. I sounded dead.

"No." He said. I heard the door shut and I sighed. I threw the covers off of my head and rested my hard, or somewhat hard, gaze on him as he sat down on Stevie Rae's old bed.

"What do you want?" I asked slowly.

"I'm... sorry." He said, unsure. I groaned, rolled over, and threw the covers back over my head, letting the tears continue to stream down my face.

Everyone hated me. All because of one stupid mistake. One stupid, horrible, heartbreaking mistake.

"Not forgiven. Go away." I droned. Goddess. I sounded worse than a freakin science teacher.

"I'm not going away, Zoey." He said. "You've been in here for over three days. Neferet..." He trailed off. I'm sure he could feel what I was feeling when he said her name. The pure hatred, the fury. I shot out of my bed and was on my feet in front of him. I swear I had never moved so fast in my life.

"You will not mention her name." I snarled. "Now, if you're talking about murdering the bitch, then that's fine. But other than that, she remains nonexistent." I went back to my bed and curled up in a ball, just like I had been for almost four days/nights now.

"Zoey..." He sighed. "I know what you saw, and I'm so sorry."

"I. Don't. Care." I said. I just wanted to curl up in a ball, check, and die. Unfortunately, it wasn't going too well.

"You don't care that if you don't leave this room you will die?" He demanded. "You haven't done anything for the past four days. You haven't eaten or been around any vampyres or fledglings... you haven't had any blood." I laughed bitterly.

"Do you know why I haven't been around any fledglings or vampyres?" I demanded, my voice harsh. "Because they all _hate me_." He winced and nodded.

"But you still need to eat and you still need blood." He said calmly.

"I'd just love to suck Queen Bitch dry." I mumbled to myself.

"I heard that." He stated. I scowled at him.

"You think I care?" He sighed in annoyance. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"If I annoy you enough, will you leave?" I asked.

"I can't. Neferet sent me to you..." He cringed slightly at his wording.

"No shit?" I asked sarcastically. "She sent you to me? Glad you're here to enlighten me. Don't know what the fuck I'd do without you." I sat up, the blankets still wrapped around me.

"There is no way in hell that I am going out there. I know Neferet. She has most likely told the whole Tulsa area about what happened between you and me. And even if she hasn't gotten around to that yet, my friends will _never_ keep _that_ a secret, now would they?" My voice was cold as ice by the end. He looked away and I nodded.

"Yeah. So... I'm gonna take a shower... and then I'm going to lay back down until I rot or reject the Change. Whichever comes first." I got my clothes and went into the bathroom. I stuck my head out and smiled sweetly, a smile that lasted only a second.

"One last thing... get the fuck outta my room." I was surprised at how harsh and cold my voice was. I shut the door and took a hot shower. I slowly got dressed and brushed my teeth and hair.

I slowly made my way out of the bathroom and nearly groaned. But I was too tired to say anything. I just got in my bed, my back against the wall, and brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"I can't leave. Neferet's orders." He said, his eyes never leaving me. I rolled my eyes.

"Still working for that crazy bitch?" I asked calmly. I felt a spark of anger go through him and I groaned. "If I kill you, will it break this stupid Imprint." I laughed bitterly. "With my luck, I would just be Imprinted with a dead guy."

"Yes. It would break. But it would cause you massive pain." He said calmly. I eyed him. Just then, Nala walked in and jumped in my lap. She rubbed her head against my hand and I absently began to pet her. I sighed and looked down at her.

"You don't hate me... do you?" I asked her, tears, once again, in my eyes. She put her paws on my chest and rubbed her head against my cheek. I smiled and hugged her close to me. She pulled away, turned towards Loren, and hissed before she laid down on my pillow. I smiled.

"My cat is so awesome." I said. I looked at Loren.

"Well, you're gonna be here for a long time... aren't you?" I said. He smiled.

"Fine with me. That just means that you'll have to put up with me." I groaned and laid my head back against the wall, closing my eyes.

"Just kill me now." I said. Suddenly, I had no control over my mouth whatsoever. I knew it when I felt my mouth open as soon as a question popped into my head.

"Why exactly did you come onto me?" I felt my face heat up and I bit my lip, trying to keep my mouth shut.

"No. I'm not answering any questions." He said.

"Why?" I asked before I could shut my mouth up. I groaned in frustration.

"You're not cooperating." He said simply. I just stared at him.

"Yeah? Well, you owe me. Seeing how you just ruined whatever life I had." I said sweetly.

"One question." He said. My eyes widened and my hands flew to my mouth. I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to keep the words from leaving my mouth. I hated him. I hated him. Why would I care how he felt about me? I didn't. He used me. He was a liar. A cheat. A user. I sighed and slowly lowered my hands, putting them in my lap. I bit my lip, just in case. My mouth had a tendency of blurting things out that aren't meant to be heard.

Loren grinned at me.

"I hate you." I said, hate lacing my words. He winced slightly, but I still saw it.

"One question, Zoeybird." He said.

"Don't call me that." I said evenly.

"Understood." I eyed him.

"I have two questions... but one is for my benefit while the other is just pure curiosity." I said. He raised a brow.

"And there's difference?"

"Don't push me." I warned. He laughed.

"I'm a vampyre. You're a fledgling. What exactly can you do?" He taunted. I silently called fire to me. I felt it come to me... but it was so weak. I could barely feel it. I let it go and, still curled up in a ball, I laid down, causing Nala to jump up off the pillow and grumble at me in her usual way.

I let my eyes fall shut, finding it too hard to keep them open.

"Zoey?" I felt his hand on my arm, but I couldn't find the strength to pull away as I wanted to.

I smelt the familiar, hypnotizing scent of blood wash over me, wrapping around me, caressing me. I opened my arms and looked up at Loren.

"No fair." I breathed before I latched onto him, taking the delicious blood. I moaned, both at the taste of blood which I hadn't had since I had Imprinted with Loren, and at the intense pleasure that I wished I could block out, but was powerless to resist.

I wrapped my arm around him, pulling him closer. Yes, I knew this was wrong. Yes, I needed to work on better self control. Yes, I knew he used me.

No, I couldn't hate him.

No matter how much I told myself I hated him, I still wanted him with a burning desire.

"Zoey." He whispered. I looked up at him. "That's enough. You need to let go." I closed my eyes and, barely, managed to let go. I quickly sealed the wound shut. I was still tired, but I wasn't weak. I slowly pulled away from Loren and laid back down on the bed.

"Are you okay, Zoey?" He asked, concerned.

"And you care... why?" I murmured.

"I don't know. That's one question." He said. I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Not fair." I said quietly.

"Life isn't fair." He said. I frowned.

"Damn straight." I whispered.

"Zoey... I really am sorry." He said. I opened my eyes and looked up at him. I could tell right away that he really, truly meant it. I sighed.

"It doesn't really matter... Loren." I said. "In the end, everyone still hates me, I'm still alone, and... and I still hurt. In more ways than one." He laughed before he covered it with a cough. I glared at him.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't think that you were a virgin, Zoey." I just gaped at him.

"I can't believe you just said that." I said.

"Well, you have tons of guys swarming around you 24/7." He said innocently. I hissed under my breath.

"What in the _hell_ does this have to do with me hurting?" I asked, mortified. He grinned.

"That's why you hurt. Because you were a virgin." He said simply. I shuddered.

"Ew." I said. "Just... ew."

"Really? 'Cause... it didn't seem so ew to you while you were screwing with me." He said nonchalantly. I seriously thought I might die.

I threw the covers over my head and held onto them for dear life. Loren started laughing and I seriously felt like killing him.

"I'm sorry, Z. That was just too good to pass up." He said once he, somewhat, composed himself. I glared at him.

"You are _such_ an ass." I said, my face still hot. He just laughed again and I couldn't help but smile, shaking my head. I closed my eyes, exhaustion settling over me.

"Zoey? Are you really okay?" He asked me. I nodded.

"I'm fine... considering the circumstances." I said wearily. He gently caressed my cheek. I cringed away from him and he winced.

"Please. Don't." I whispered. I was still so tired. I was confused. I had just had blood and I had been eating... a little. So what was so wrong?

Suddenly, I coughed. I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or a bad thing. I coughed again, this time it was a wet cough and I could feel the blood in the back of my throat.

It was... weird. I just closed my eyes and let the life drain out of me with my life's blood. I didn't panic. I didn't cry. I was... relieved.

"Zoey!" I vaguely heard Stevie Rae's sob as she wrapped her arms around me. I wondered how she had gotten there.

"No! You can't die, Z. You just can't." I was shocked at the crying Aphrodite. "What the fuck are you doing here? This is your fault, Loren Blake." Her words were sharp and harsh and just down right mean. I tried to tune them out but it was no use.

"Where... where is everyone, Z?" Stevie Rae whispered. I opened my eyes and smiled weakly.

"Too many secrets. They hate me." I whispered, my voice rough. I turned my head and coughed again. Everything was hazy then, and I found it hard to focus.

"No. Z. Look at me." I looked up at Aphrodite's tear streaked face. She took the hand that Stevie Rae wasn't breaking. "I'm scared, Z." She whispered. I tried to laugh but it ended in a cough.

"Why are you scared, Aphrodite?" I breathed.

"Because I'm losing the sister my mother was too selfish to have." She said, her voice breaking. I smiled and wrapped my arm weakly around her in a hug.

"But, Aphrodite... I want to die. I don't want to live if everyone hates me. If all I'm going to feel is pain." I whispered.

"But... they promised." Stevie Rae whispered.

"Yeah. And I screwed up." I said. I closed my eyes again before slowly opening them again. My eyes went to Loren.

"Don't let her bring me back." I said. "Please. Don't let her bring me back." I was practically begging. He caressed my cheek and shook his head.

"I can't promise that." He said.

"Tell my friends I'm... sorry." I breathed before my soul was ripped out of my body. I heard one last sob from Stevie Rae before I was in the Otherworld, facing my goddess, Nyx.

She smiled sadly. I ran over to her and threw my arms around her.

"I'm so sorry, Nyx." I nearly sobbed. "I was just so hurt and... I couldn't make myself do anything." She hugged me back before she pulled away enough to look at me.

"I understand, Zoeybird." She said warmly. "Well, there is nothing we can do now."

"But, Nyx. What if Neferet brings me back?" I asked, scared stiff at the thought. She smiled.

"Loren will not let that happen, Zoey. Whether you believe him or not, he truly is sorry for what he has done to you." I scowled. "Zoey," She caressed my cheek and sighed softly. I tried hard not to wince. I didn't want to be touched anymore. "I am so sorry for what has happened to you. But you are strong. I know that you will get through it, my daughter. I believe in you." I felt tears in my eyes. I laid my head on her shoulder.

"How." I whispered, my voice broken. She rubbed my back gently.

"Because, you are my daughter. Because you are strong and you don't let things bring you down." She said. I suddenly felt myself being ripped in two. It didn't hurt, exactly, but it wasn't comfortable. I pulled away from Nyx, confused. She looked pained.

"I will see you one day, Zoeybird." She said. "But you have a job to do. Back on earth." My eyes widened.

"No!" The word was ripped from my soul and everything went black.

"Wake up, Zoeybird." A familiar voice asked. I was scared to do so, honestly. I tried to open my eyes. But I couldn't. I couldn't move anything. I heard Neferet sigh in annoyance.

"Watch over her. If she wakes up, call me." She said to someone else. I heard her shoes clicking on the phone and a door shut.

"I'm so sorry, Zoey." I heard another voice whisper. I groaned softly. "Zoey?"

I tried to tell him I wanted blood, but I couldn't get my mouth to work. It hurt so bad. I needed it. I could hear his blood in his veins. I could hear the beating of his heart. I moaned.

"What is it, Zoey?" He whispered wryly. I hissed, baring my teeth. "Do you need... blood?" I felt myself smile.

I moaned as the scent of his blood wrapped around me. I suddenly had total control over my body. I opened my eyes and immediately latched onto him.

I closed my eyes, the taste of his blood putting me in a trance that I had no chance of getting out of. I wasn't so surprised when I felt the Imprint forming between us once again.

"Zoey!" A voice said pleasantly. I felt someone try to pull me off of Loren. I snarled and continued to drink from him. "Zoey Redbird!" She snapped. I flinched at the sharpness of her voice. I hesitantly pulled away from Loren, slowly sealing the wound shut. My gaze flickered to his.

I smiled very slightly before I looked at Neferet.

"Why am I here?" I demanded. She smiled sweetly.

"I brought you back." She said. "And you work for me now, not that wretched goddess." I hissed and she glared at me, a look so cold and full of hatred that I flinched.

"I honestly have no idea why I brought you back." She said, looking disgusted.

"I honestly have no idea why Loren loves you. Or anyone for that matter." I said under my breath. I saw Loren cringe and immediately look away from us.

I really should have seen it coming. Neferet snarled and backhanded me. I fell towards the floor but I caught myself, landing on my feet. I snarled and lunged at her but Loren caught me. I looked up at him, my teeth bared again. He winced.

"What exactly is your problem, Loren?" Neferet asked, her voice softer. I looked at her. She was looking at Loren and I was shocked to see a soft, warmness in her eyes.

"Nothing, Neferet. It's just... nothing. Never mind." He said, shaking his head. I cocked my head to the side, reading him through the Imprint. I looked at him in amusement.

"It's hard to see me as a Red fledgling." I said with a smirk. "I don't know why though. He's blocking me fairly well. I can only read that it's hard for him to see me like this." I looked at Neferet who was smiling approvingly at me. She gave Loren a _look_ before she looked back at me.

"Very good, Zoey." She said. "You will be in the same dorm room you were in before you died. Everyone knows about the Red fledglings."

"I'm still hungry." I said, sounding slightly crazy. She grinned and nodded.

"You can feed off of Loren seeing how you two are... Imprinted... yet again." She said. I grimaced.

"No thank you." I said in disgust. "I'd rather not kill him either. I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy. And I can't make my Queen unhappy." She grinned and laughed as she threw her arm around my shoulders.

"Come with me, Zoeybird." She said. She explained everything I had missed in the four days I was in my room and the almost two days I was dead.

"And I have released Kalona..." She trailed off when she saw my face.

"I know that name." I murmured to myself. I pulled away from Neferet.

"Zoey! Where are you going?"

I couldn't answer. I wasn't paying any attention. I walked through the halls of the Tulsa House of Night, earning many stares from fledglings and vampyres. Especially from Stevie Rae, Aphrodite, and Stark.

But my eyes were on the immortal standing in front of me. His eyes immediately went to mine. They widened before he grinned at me. I went to him, wrapping my arms around him.

"Kalona! Zoey! What is going on here?" Neferet demanded. I looked at her, dazed and confused.

"I... I don't know." I looked at Kalona. "H-How do I know you? W-why do I feel like this?"

He pressed his lips to the red outline of a crescent moon on my forehead.

"You are mine. My A-ya." I blinked at him, shocked.

"No. I'm... I'm Zoey. Zoey Redbird." I said, still in a daze.

"Are you sure she's A-ya?" Neferet whispered. Kalona looked at all of the fledglings gawking at us.

"Come." He said.

We followed him to Neferet's office. He sat down in one of the chairs there and opened his arms to me. I instinctively went to him. I laid my head on his shoulder, still in the daze. It wasn't like I couldn't control myself. It was more like I was sharing control. A part of me told me this was wrong while the other part of me told me this was right. This was what I was made to do. And I didn't really mind that.

"My A-ya." Kalona whispered. "I am absolutely sure that she is my A-ya."

"B-but... that's not possible." Neferet stuttered, stunned.

"Of course it is." I said suddenly. They all looked at me. "There's this ting called a reincarnation." I said snarkily.

Kalona chuckled and his arms tightened around me. I snuggled closer to him, my eyes closing at the cold heat of his skin.

"Well... this is... unexpected." Neferet said pleasantly. I looked at her.

"You're scaring me with your overly perkiness." I said bluntly. She glared at me and I quickly buried my face in the crook of Kalona's neck.

"So... what do we do about this?" Loren asked.

"What do you mean?" Kalona asked. I looked up.

"Yeah. I'm his and he's mine. There's nothing to do about it." I said. Kalona smiled and kiss my temple. I leaned into him. Neferet glared at the both of us.

"Good goddess, Neferet. Calm the hell down. Don't be such an Eeyore." I said. They all looked at me confused. Well, except for Loren. He laughed almost silently.

"What the hell are you babbling about?" Neferet demanded harshly.

"Eeyore. It's a character from Winnie the Pooh. He's like a donkey and he's always negative and blue and dreary. You remind me of him." I explained nonchalantly. Kalona laughed and I couldn't help but smile.

"That's enough!" Neferet snapped. I cringed into Kalona, finding it hard not to smile.

"Sorry," I mumbled. I, surprisingly, felt bad for what I had said. "My Queen." She looked surprised and confused but nodded. "I have a question." I said.

"Go ahead." She said.

"Can I stay with Kalona?" I asked. She looked back up at me, anger in her eyes. I held my hands up in surrender. "Never mind. You win." I said, a grin on my face.

"You've known him for twenty minutes and you already have him basking in your presence." I shook my head.

"You forget. I've known him for centuries, Neferet." I said. She looked at me like I grew two heads.

She made her way around her desk and stood in front of me.

"Listen here, Zoey Redbird." She said, her voice dark and, well, evil. "You will not steal another guy from me. He's mine." I eyed her calmly.

"Really? You were created to love him?" I smirked. "I didn't think so." I stood and stepped towards her, backing her up against her desk. "Let's get something straight, Neferet. Just because you brought me back, doesn't mean I'm going to listen to a _damn_ thing you have to say. I am my _own_ person. You don't control me. No one controls me except for me. So back the fuck off." I nearly snarled. She just stared at me, stunned silent. I felt shock coming from the Imprint and I knew Kalona was, most likely, trying not to laugh. I smiled sweetly.

"Now that we understand each other." I said sweetly. I grabbed Kalona's hand and he stood. I then grabbed Loren's hand, just to piss Neferet off.

"Now. You need to calm down. I am taking Loren because if he dies, I will be in pain. And I already feel enough of that as it is." I said calmly. "So... until you calm down, he will be with me." It was so hard trying not to laugh.

Kalona wrapped his arm around my waist and I leaned against him.

We made our way out of Neferet's office and to my dorm room. I sat down on my bed, pulling Kalona down with me. Loren sat on Stevie Rae's old bed. Speaking of Stevie Rae, the door suddenly burst open, Stevie Rae, Aphrodite, and Stark coming in.

"Oh," Stevie Rae started.

"My," Aphrodite continued.

"Goddess." Stark breathed. I shot up and threw myself at Stark.

"Oh, Stark. I'm so, so sorry." I whispered, tears in my eyes. He slowly wrapped his arms around me.

"For what exactly?" He asked. I looked up at him.

"For everything. But mostly for hurting you. I didn't mean to." I said. "I don't know why I did that. I was stupid and horrible and... slutty."

"Z, calm down. You know I hate it when you cry." He said softly, wiping the tears away.

"Stark, you hate it when anyone cries. You're not very good with tears." I said with a small laugh. He smiled his cocky smile that I loved so much. I shook my head.

"Please. Don't." He looked at me, confused. "You've got that cocky look on your face. Please. If you value my sanity, do not open your mouth. Something embarrassing and totally inappropriate will come out." I practically begged. He looked hurt.

"She's right." Loren said. Stark glared at him and I felt him tense. I kissed him softly and I felt him relax. I smiled.

"Does this mean you don't hate me?" I whispered. He sighed.

"I don't hate you. I never hated you." He said. "Do you know how terrifies, how brokenhearted I felt when Aphrodite and Stevie Rae ran into the Dining Hall, tears streaming down their faces? When they told me that you rejected the Change? Do not ever do that again." He whispered as he pulled me closer to him. I laughed weakly.

"I don't think I could reject it... again." I said.

"Oh, Zoey!" Stark let go of me just in time for Stevie Rae to pull me into her arms in a bone crushing hug.

"Air! Air!" I gasped. She loosened her arms _just_ enough for me to breathe. She laughed as she held me at arms length. "Did you kill anybody? Please tell me you didn't kill anybody. Ohmygoodness, Z! What happened while I was gone? Why is everyone so pissed? What happened between you and Loren? Did everyone find out? Is that why they hate you? Oh my goddess, Zoey. I'm so sorry." I laughed along with Kalona and Loren.

"Jesus, Stevie Rae! Calm down!" I laughed. She took a few deep breaths.

"Answer every single question. This is important." She said seriously. But there was a gleam in her eyes that was all too familiar. I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You want me to answer the Loren questions first." I said. She nodded eagerly. I grimaced and she glared at him.

"What did you do?" She snarled. I pulled her to my side and over to her bed. I pushed her down next to him and smile sweetly.

"Why don't you tell her, _baby_?" I said sarcastically. He winced.

"I was working for Neferet. She said for me to seduce Zoey to get her alone so she wouldn't be so powerful." He said, not looking at any of us. I swear, Stevie Rae looked like she was about ready to murder Loren.

"Uh... Stevie Rae? You can't murder him. Or hurt him. We're... we're Imprinted... again." I said awkwardly. She looked at me.

"Oh, Zoey." She sighed, a smile on her face. "What am I goin to do with you?" I grinned and shrugged.

"So... wait..." She narrowed her eyes at me before she grinned and laughed. "Ohmygoodness, Z! You're not a virgin anymore!" I felt my face heat up and I groaned. Loren laughed scowled at the floor.

"Oh my goddess! You did what!" Aphrodite gasped. I sighed, wishing I was anywhere but there.

"I, uh... yeah." I said quietly. I looked at her, biting my lip. She giggled before she outright laughed.

"I'm sorry, Z. That's just... even _I'm_ still a virgin." She said. I groaned and sat down where Stevie Rae used to be sitting. Instead she had sank down to the floor, laughing so hard there were tears in her eyes.

"Thanks a lot." I mumbled to Loren. He smiled smugly.

"Anytime, Zoey." He said. I smacked him on the arm.

"Disgusting." I said to myself.

"Once again, you didn't think it was disgusting when you were screwing with me." He said. Stevie Rae and Aphrodite stopped laughing immediately. They looked at Loren, then at me. They blinked at me with wide eyes.

"Did he just say that?" Stevie Rae asked bluntly. I nodded.

"Yep. Yep, he did." I whispered.

"It takes two to screw." That was it for them. They started laughing again and I sighed in annoyance. Even Stark was having a hard time not laughing now.

"Okay. That's enough. Get out." I said, opening the door. Aphrodite held her hand.

"Okay. Okay. We'll stop." She said between giggles. She smacked Stevie Rae.

"Shut up. I don't wanna leave. Loren might say something." She whispered. I slapped the palm of my hand to my forehead.

"Hello! I'm right here!" I exclaimed.

"Hello!" Stevie Rae said.

"We, like, don't care!" Aphrodite said. I shook my head and sat back down next Kalona. I wrapped my arms around him, lying my head on his shoulder.

"What the hell!" My three friends exclaimed.

**I hate to cut this here but... it's already six pages. I hope you liked it cause I know I did. I had a hard time writing it near the end cause I couldn't stop laughing. So... REVIEW. Jessica Baylin**


	2. Broke Her Heart & That Was Never a Lie

**IMPORTANT NOTES:**

_**I have said this before and I'm saying it again, If I do not get five reviews per chapter, I will not update AT ALL. **_

_**I also need a little help. I JUST posted a new poll on my profile. In the end of this fanfic, Zoey will be with Loren. I DO know that. But until then, she will be with someone else. WHO? Should she be with Stark or Kalona? This fanfic is going to be LOOOONG. Like, twenty to twenty-five chapters. I NEED your help. So... Stark or Kalona. **_

_**Another thing is, this is Chapter One in Loren's POV. I have decided that I am going to write two of the same chapter but make the second one in Loren's. BUT, since you guys want more, all chapters after the first one will be double. Basically, you get two chapters in one. You'll see when you read them. **_

**Thank you, that is all. **

**So... here's chapter one, part two, of Broken Hearts. **

**Inspiration: Break Your Heart I don't remember. LOLZ. **

Chapter One

Part II

~_Broke Her Heart_~

_I could feel her pain and it killed me to know that I was the one who caused it. I sighed before I knocked on her door. I nearly cringed at the sight of her when she opened the door. _

_She looked broken. And I was the one who had broken her. Way to go, Blake. _

"_Oh. It's just you. Great." She whispered. I winced but she didn't see it since she had already gone back to her bed and laid down, throwing the blankets over her head. _

"_Go away." She mumbled. _

"_Zoey—" I started, but she cut me off. _

"_Go. Away." She said. Again, guilt washed over me. She sounded horrible. She sounded like a zombie. Dead. _

_No." I said. I quietly shut the door and I heard her sigh. She threw the covers off of her head and rested her hard gaze on me as I sat down on Stevie Rae's old bed. _

"_What do you want?" She asked slowly, as if she were losing control. _

"_I'm... sorry." I said, unsure. She groaned, rolled over, and threw the covers back over her head. But I didn't miss the tears that started falling down her beautiful face. _

"_Not forgiven. Go away." She droned. I couldn't believe that I had done this to her. I had broken her. Her friends hated her, not to mention Erik, Stark, and Heath, the three people she loved most. And now I was killing her. Or, well, she was killing herself because of me. _

"_I'm not going away, Zoey." I said. "You've been in here for over three days. Neferet..." I trailed off when I felt the pure hatred, the fury, that shot through her when I mentioned Neferet's name. That was understandable, seeing how the bitch used my Zoey. _

_Zoey suddenly shot out of her bed and was on her feet in front of me. I swear I had never seen anyone, even the Red fledglings, move as fast as she did just then. _

"_You will not mention her name." She snarled. "Now, if you're talking about murdering the bitch, then that's fine. But other than that, she remains nonexistent." She went back to her bed and curled up in a ball. _

"_Zoey..." I sighed. I had to get her to believe me. I needed her to believe me, to forgive me. "I know what you saw, and I'm so sorry." _

"_I. Don't. Care." She said. She sounded miserable. I just wanted to wrap my arms around her, telling her everything would be okay. _

"_You don't care that if you don't leave this room you will die?" I demanded. I couldn't just let her stay in here and die. "You haven't done anything for the past four days. You haven't eaten or been around any vampyres or fledglings... you haven't had any blood." She laughed bitterly. _

"_Do you know why I haven't been around any fledglings or vampyres?" She demanded, my voice harsh. "Because they all hate me." I winced and nodded. Again, my fault. _

"_But you still need to eat and you still need blood." I said calmly. _

"_I'd just love to suck Queen Bitch dry." She mumbled to herself. I almost laughed. _

"_I heard that." I stated. She scowled at me. _

"_You think I care?" I sighed in annoyance and she narrowed her eyes at me. _

"_If I annoy you enough, will you leave?" She asked. I nearly laughed then. As much as her words hurt me, I was glad to see her somewhat better. More alive. _

"_I can't. Neferet sent me to you..." I cringed slightly. Really bad wording. _

"_No shit?" She asked sarcastically. "She sent you to me? Glad you're here to enlighten me. Don't know what the fuck I'd do without you." She sat up, the blankets still wrapped around her. I was slightly shocked. It wasn't like Zoey to curse. Then again, she was pissed to high hell. _

"_There is no way in hell that I am going out there. I know Neferet. She has most likely told the whole Tulsa area about what happened between you and me. And even if she hasn't gotten around to that yet, my friends will never keep that a secret, now would they?" Her voice was cold as ice by the end. I looked away, not able to meet her hard, heated gaze. _

"_Yeah. So... I'm gonna take a shower... and then I'm going to lay back down until I rot or reject the Change. Whichever comes first." She got her clothes and went into the bathroom. She stuck her head out and smiled sweetly, a smile that lasted only a second. _

"_One last thing... get the fuck outta my room." I was surprised at how harsh and cold her voice was. She shut the door and I sighed as I leaned back against the wall. _

"_I'm sorry, Zoey." I breathed. "I love you." _

_Zoey slowly made her way out of the bathroom and I laid my head back against the wall, a small smile on my face. She didn't say anything, thought. She just got in her bed, her back against the wall, and brought her knees up to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. _

"_I can't leave. Neferet's orders." I said, my eyes never leaving her face. She rolled her eyes and I prepared myself for another smart remark. I knew she was hurt and angry so I didn't pay any of them much attention. _

"_Still working for that crazy bitch?" She asked calmly. I'm sure she could feel the spark of anger that jolted through me. Of course I still "worked" for her. I couldn't exactly pissed her off. I'd rather not die. She groaned. _

"_If I kill you, will it break this stupid Imprint." She laughed bitterly. "With my luck, I would just be Imprinted with a dead guy." _

"_Yes. It would break. But it would cause you massive pain." I said calmly. She eyed me. Just then, Nala walked in and jumped in her lap. She rubbed her head against Zoey's hand and she absently began to pet her. Zoey sighed and looked down at her cat. _

"_You don't hate me... do you?" She asked Nala sadly, tears, once again, in her eyes. Goddess. What have I done. _

_Nala put her paws on Zoey's chest and rubbed her head against her cheek. Zoey smiled and hugged her cat close to her. Zoey's pillow. Zoey smiled sweetly at the cat and I, yet again, knew it was coming. _

"_My cat is so awesome." She said. She looked at me and smirked. _

"_Well, you're gonna be here for a long time... aren't you?" She said. I smiled, liking the idea of that... to an extent. _

"_Fine with me. That just means that you'll have to put up with me." I knew that would make her want to leave. She groaned and laid her head back against the wall, closing her eyes. _

"_Just kill me now." She said to herself. _

"_Why exactly did you come onto me?" She suddenly blurted. I smiled, knowing that she hadn't meant to say that.. Her face went red and I tried not to laugh. _

"_No. I'm not answering any questions." I said. _

"_Why?" She blurted. She groaned in frustration. _

"_You're not cooperating." I said simply. She just stared at me. _

"_Yeah? Well, you owe me. Seeing how you just ruined whatever life I had." She said sweetly. Ouch. That hurt. _

"_One question." I said. _

_Her eyes widened and her hands flew to her mouth. She closed her eyes and shook her head. I could tell she was trying to control her mouth. Her mouth did have a tendency of blurting things out that aren't meant to be heard. _

_I grinned at her. _

"_I hate you." She said, hate lacing her words. I winced slightly. _

"_One question, Zoeybird." I said. _

"_Don't call me that." She said evenly. _

"_Understood." She eyed me. _

"_I have two questions... but one is for my benefit while the other is just pure curiosity." She said. I raised a brow. _

"_And there's difference?" _

"_Don't push me." She warned. I just laughed. Goddess, I loved her. If only she knew that. Yeah. As if she would trust me. _

"_I'm a vampyre. You're a fledgling. What exactly can you do?" I taunted. She narrowed her eyes in concentration. I felt exhaustion wash over her and, still curled up in a ball, she laid down, causing Nala to jump up off the pillow and grumble at her. _

_Her eyes fell shut and sat down on the edge of her bed. _

"_Zoey?" I asked softly. I gently touched her arm. I ran my nail against my wrist and held it close to her face. I knew she wouldn't be able to resist it. _

_She opened her eyes and looked up at me. _

"_No fair." She breathed before she latched onto me. She moaned and wrapped her arm around me, pulling me closer. I wrapped my other arm around her, a smile on my face. I knew she hated me. I knew she wanted nothing to do with me. But that wouldn't stop me from loving her. _

_I could feel her desire, her want, her need. Her... love? I shook my head, knowing that was the last thing she felt. _

"_Zoey." I whispered. She looked up at me. "That's enough. You need to let go." She closed her eyes and let go. She quickly sealed the wound shut. She slowly pulled away from me and laid back down on the bed. _

"_Are you okay, Zoey?" I asked, concerned. _

"_And you care... why?" She murmured. I smiled. _

"_I don't know. That's one question." He said. _

"_Not fair." She said quietly. _

"_Life isn't fair." I said. She frowned. _

"_Damn straight." She whispered. _

"_Zoey... I really am sorry." I said, trying to get her to believe me. She opened her eyes and looked up at me. She sighed. _

"_It doesn't really matter... Loren." She said., hesitating before she said my name. "In the end, everyone still hates me, I'm still alone, and... and I still hurt. In more ways than one." I couldn't help but laugh at that before I managed to cover it with a cough. She glared at me. _

"_I'm sorry." I said. "I didn't think that you were a virgin, Zoey." She just gaped at him. _

"_I can't believe you just said that." She said, shock flowing through her. _

"_Well, you have tons of guys swarming around you 24/7." I said innocently. She hissed under her breath. _

"_What in the hell does this have to do with me hurting?" She asked, mortified. I grinned. _

"_That's why you hurt. Because you were a virgin." I said simply. She shuddered. _

"_Ew." She said. "Just... ew." I just couldn't pass it up then. _

"_Really? 'Cause... it didn't seem so ew to you while you were screwing with me." I said nonchalantly. _

_She threw the covers over her head and I just laughed. _

"_I'm sorry, Z. That was just too good to pass up." I said once I, somewhat, composed myself. She glared at me and I shrugged. _

"_You are such an ass." She said, her face still red. I just laughed again and she smiled and shook her head. She closed her eyes, exhaustion settling over her. _

"_Zoey? Are you really okay?" I asked her. She nodded. _

"_I'm fine... considering the circumstances." She said wearily. I gently caressed her cheek. she cringed away from me and I winced. _

"_Please. Don't." She whispered. I felt confusion but I couldn't tell what it was for. _

_Suddenly, she coughed. Oh, goddess, no. She couldn't die. This was the Zoey Redbird. She was probably the only one that could get rid of Neferet. She coughed again, this time a wet cough. I could smell her blood and I felt my heart shatter. _

_What shocked me was that she didn't panic. She didn't cry. She was relieved. _

"_Zoey!" Stevie Rae climbed in through the window, Aphrodite holding onto her for dear life. _

"_No! You can't die, Z. You just can't." Aphrodite made her way over to Zoey, crying and shaking her head. She then looked at me and her eyes turned smoldering. Well... she was pissed. _

"_What the fuck are you doing here? This is your fault, Loren Blake." Her words were sharp and harsh and just down right hateful. _

"_Where... where is everyone, Z?" Stevie Rae whispered. Zoey opened her eyes and smiled weakly. _

"_Too many secrets. They hate me." She whispered, her voice rough. She turned her head and coughed again. _

"_No. Z. Look at me." Aphrodite demanded. She took the hand that Stevie Rae wasn't holding. "I'm scared, Z." She whispered. Zoey tried to laugh, but it ended in another cough. _

"_Why are you scared, Aphrodite?" She breathed. _

"_Because I'm losing the sister my mother was too selfish to have." She answered. her voice breaking. Zoey smiled and wrapped her arm around her in a hug. _

"_But, Aphrodite... I want to die. I don't want to live if everyone hates me. If all I'm going to feel is pain." She whispered. I closed my eyes, keeping the tears from falling. I mean, come on. I'm a guy. I don't cry. _

"_But... they promised." Stevie Rae whispered. _

"_Yeah. And I screwed up." Zoey said. She closed her eyes before slowly opening them again. Her gaze then went to me. _

"_Don't let her bring me back." She said. "Please. Don't let her bring me back." She was practically begging. I could feel her fear. I gently caressed her cheek and shook my head. I couldn't let her go. If there was any way to bring her back from this, I would do it. _

"_I can't promise that." I said. _

"_Tell my friends I'm... sorry." She breathed before her soul was ripped out of her body. _

_Stevie Rae sobbed again. I just sat there, staring at Zoey's body. My Zoey. Aphrodite wiped the tears off of her face and grabbed Stevie Rae by the arm. _

"_We have to go tell the others." She said. Stevie Rae, still sobbing followed. I didn't want to leave Zoey, but I had to go with Neferet. I followed the two girls to the Dining Hall. _

_It went silent immediately. Zoey's group of "friends" stood when they saw Stevie Rae's face. _

"_What's wrong?" Damien asked. _

"_Zoey." She sobbed before she sank down to the floor. Stark's face went white. _

"_What happened?" He breathed. _

"_She... she rejected the Change." Aphrodite whimpered. The Twins threw there arms around each other and started crying. Jack put his face in his hands, crying. Damien' face went as white as Stark's and a tear fell down his face. Erik just stood there. He shook his head and left. I saw other fledglings silently crying while others just looked down at the floor. _

"_Why?" Damien whispered. _

"_Because you left her alone!" Aphrodite snapped, her voice cold. "Because she kept some secrets from you, you all ditched her when she needed you the most. It's all your fault!" I put a hand on her shoulder and she glared at me. _

"_This is as much of your fault as it is theirs." She said quietly. I nodded. _

"_I know." I said. Just then, Neferet walked in. she saw the faces of the fledglings and the group surrounding me and came over to me. _

"_Where is the body?" She asked, sounding broken. _

"_In her room." I said. _

"_Who died?" She asked sadly. _

"_Z... Zoey Redbird." I said, looking away from her. I saw a few of the warriors leave the Dining Hall, going to get my Zoey. _

"_What is wrong with you?" Neferet asked as we made our way to her room. I shook my head. _

"_Nothing. Why?" I asked, not really paying any attention. She suddenly stopped and stepped in front of me. She glared at me, her eyes flashing a dangerous red. _

"_Listen to me, Loren Blake. Just because you two were Imprinted doesn't give you the excuse to fall in love with her." She snarled. "You're mine. And you always will be." And, at that, she turned and walked away. _

"_Love you, too." I muttered sarcastically. _

_I cringed as I saw her body lying on the mattress Neferet had for the Red fledglings. Neferet rolled her eyes. _

"_Get over here. She'll need blood. And I am not going to feed the bitch." She said in disgust. I knelt down next to my Zoey. _

"_Your Zoey?" Neferet asked, amused. Damn! "You honestly think she's going to come back to you? After what she saw?" She snorted and, shaking her head, placed her hands over Zoey's body. _

"_Wake up, Zoeybird." Neferet said sweetly. Neferet sighed in annoyance when she didn't move. She turned to me. _

"_Watch over her. If she wakes up, call me." She said. I nodded. As soon as she was gone, I took Zoey's hand in mine. _

"_I'm so sorry, Zoey." I said softly. She groaned softly and I straightened. "Zoey?" She moaned. I could feel her desire, her need. I grinned. She needed blood. _

"_What is it, Zoey?" I whispered wryly. She hissed, baring her teeth. I flinched. "Do you need... blood?" She smiled and moaned as the smell of my blood wrapped around her. _

_She opened her eyes and immediately latched onto me. _

_She closed her eyes, once more and drank greedily. I moaned softly, feeling the Imprint for yet again. Just then, Neferet walked back in. _

"_Zoey!" A voice said pleasantly. Neferet came over to pull her off of me and Zoey snarled in protest. I couldn't help but laugh. Neferet glared at me. _

"_Zoey Redbird!" She snapped. Zoey flinched at the sharpness of her voice. She hesitantly pulled away from me, slowly sealing the wound shut. Her gaze flickered to mine. _

_She smiled very slightly before she looked at Neferet. _

"_Why am I here?" She demanded. Neferet smiled sweetly. _

"_I brought you back." She said. "And you work for me now, not that wretched goddess." Zoey hissed and Neferet glared at her. Oh goddess. This was not going to end well. _

"_I honestly have no idea why I brought you back." She said, looking disgusted. _

"_I honestly have no idea why Loren loves you. Or anyone for that matter." Zoey said under her breath. I cringed, knowing what was coming next. _

_Neferet snarled and backhanded her. I flinched as Zoey fell towards the floor. She quickly caught herself, though, landing on her feet. She snarled and lunged at Neferet but I quickly wrapped my arms around her, pulling her back. She bared her teeth and I winced. _

"_What exactly is your problem, Loren?" Neferet asked, her voice softer. I looked back at her. I didn't know exactly what to tell her. I couldn't exactly tell her the truth. _

"_Nothing, Neferet. It's just... nothing. Never mind." I said, shaking my head. Zoey cocked her head to the side before her expression turned to one of amusement. _

"_It's hard to see me as a Red fledgling." She said with a smirk. Oh. This was not good. "I don't know why though. He's blocking me fairly well. I can only read that it's hard for him to see me like this." She looked at Neferet who was smiling approvingly at her. She gave me a look before she looked back at Zoey. _

"_Very good, Zoey." She said. "You will be in the same dorm room you were in before you died. Everyone knows about the Red fledglings." _

"_I'm still hungry." Zoey said, sounding more then slightly crazy. Neferet grinned and nodded. _

"_You can feed off of Loren seeing how you two are... Imprinted... yet again." She said. Zoey grimaced. _

"_No thank you." She said in disgust. I could feel her want, though. I couldn't help but smile at that. "I'd rather not kill him either. I'm sure you wouldn't be too happy. And I can't make my Queen unhappy." Ugh. All I had to say to that was disgusting. _

_Neferet grinned and laughed as she threw her arm around Zoey's shoulders. _

"_Come with me, Zoeybird." She said. I didn't really pay them any attention as I followed them to Zoey's dorm room. _

"_And I have released Kalona..." Neferet trailed off. I looked at her, then at Zoey. It was hard to really read her. _

"_I know that name." She murmured. She then pulled away from Neferet, nearly running down the halls. _

"_Zoey! Where are you going?" _

_She walked through the halls of the Tulsa House of Night, earning many stares from fledglings and vampyres. _

_I went to her side, trying to ask her what was wrong, but her eyes were on the immortal standing in front of of. His eyes immediately went to Zoey's. They widened before he grinned at her. She pulled away from me in a daze as she went into his arms. _

"_Kalona! Zoey! What is going on here?" Neferet demanded. Zoey looked at her, dazed and confused. What the hell?_

"_I... I don't know." She looked at Kalona. "H-How do I know you? W-why do I feel like this?" _

_He pressed his lips to the red outline of a crescent moon on my forehead. _

"_You are mine. My A-ya." A-ya? Zoey couldn't be A-ya. A-ya had went back to the dirt she was centuries ago. So, no. Zoey couldn't be A-ya... could she? _

"_No. I'm... I'm Zoey. Zoey Redbird." She said, still in a daze. _

"_Are you sure she's A-ya?" Neferet whispered. Kalona looked at all of the fledglings gawking at him and Zoey. _

"_Come." He said. _

_We followed him to Neferet's office. He sat down in one of the chairs there and opened his arms to my Zoey. I couldn't hide my jealousy as she went to him, lying her head on his shoulder. There was still that confused, dazed look on her face but she smiled, trying not to laugh, and I knew she had felt it. _

"_My A-ya." Kalona whispered. "I am absolutely sure that she is my A-ya." _

"_B-but... that's not possible." Neferet stuttered, stunned. _

"_Of course it is." Zoey said suddenly. We all stared at her, expectantly. I felt her amusement and I sighed, knowing what was coming next. "There's this thing called a reincarnation." She said snarkily. I rolled my eyes. _

_Kalona just laughed softly and Zoey snuggled closer to him. I could feel the pleasure she was experiencing and I gritted my teeth. _

"_Well... this is... unexpected." Neferet said pleasantly. Zoey and I just looked at her. _

"_You're scaring me with your overly perkiness." Zoey said bluntly. Neferet glared at her and Zoey quickly buried her face in the crook of Kalona's neck. _

"_So... what do we do about this?" I asked, completely clueless. _

"_What do you mean?" Kalona asked. Zoey looked up. _

"_Yeah. I'm his and he's mine. There's nothing to do about it." She said. It was as if she didn't even know the words were coming out of her mouth. _

_Kalona smiled and kiss her temple. Neferet glared at the two of them, while I kept my eyes on Zoey. Her eyes met mine and I looked away. _

"_Good goddess, Neferet. Calm the hell down. Don't be such an Eeyore." She said. I laughed softly while the others looked at her in confusion. _

"_What the hell are you babbling about?" Neferet demanded harshly. _

"_Eeyore. It's a character from Winnie the Pooh. He's like a donkey and he's always negative and blue and dreary. You remind me of him." She explained nonchalantly. Kalona laughed and she smiled. _

"_That's enough!" Neferet snapped. Zoey and I both cringed. Zoey, though, was finding this all amusing. _

"_Sorry," She mumbled. I was shocked to find that she felt bad for what she had said. "My Queen." I was confused. Zoey calling Neferet her Queen? I think someone OD'd on their meds. _

"_I have a question." Zoey said. Oh goddess. Just shut up, Zoey. _

"_Go ahead." Neferet said, wary. _

"_Can I stay with Kalona?" She asked. Oh... that was a bad move. Neferet glared at her and Zoey held her hands up in surrender. _

"_Never mind. You win." She said, a grin on her face. Damn. It seemed Zoey lost all of her fear of Neferet. _

"_You've known him for twenty minutes and you already have him basking in your presence." Zoey shook my head. _

"_You forget. I've known him for centuries, Neferet." Zoey said. _

_She made her way around her desk and stood in front of her. _

"_Listen here, Zoey Redbird." She said, her voice dark and, well, evil. "You will not steal another guy from me. He's mine." Zoey eyed her calmly. Oh goddess, please don't let her make another smartass remark. _

"_Really? You were created to love him?" She smirked. Too late. "I didn't think so." She stood and stepped towards her, backing her up against her desk. "Let's get something straight, Neferet. Just because you brought me back, doesn't mean I'm going to listen to a damn thing you have to say. I am my own person. You don't control me. No one controls me except for me. So back the fuck off." She nearly snarled. I was shocked to say the least. Zoey quickly glanced at me before she smiled sweetly at Neferet. _

"_Now that we understand each other." She said sweetly. She grabbed Kalona's hand as he stood. She grinned slyly and grabbed mine. I knew she was just doing it to piss Neferet off. _

"_Now. You need to calm down. I am taking Loren because if he dies, I will be in pain. And I already feel enough of that as it is." She said calmly. "So... until you calm down, he will be with me." I snorted, trying not to laugh. _

_Kalona wrapped his arm around her waist. _

_We made our way out of Neferet's office and to her dorm room. _

_I sat down on what used to be Zoey's best friend's bed. Speaking of which, the door suddenly burst open, Stevie Rae, Aphrodite, and Stark coming in. _

"_Oh," Stevie Rae started. _

"_My," Aphrodite continued. _

"_Goddess." Stark breathed. Zoey shot up and threw myself at Stark. As much as I loved Zoey, I had to admit that she had too many guys. Which, unfortunately, made her a slut. _

_She whispered something to him and he smiled sadly. _

"_For everything. But mostly for hurting you. I didn't mean to." She said. "I don't know why I did that. I was stupid and horrible and... slutty." _

"_Z, calm down. You know I hate it when you cry." He said softly. _

"_Stark, you hate it when anyone cries. You're not very good with tears." She said with a little laugh. Ugh. Watching them flirt was sickening. I swear I was going to vomit. He smiled a surprisingly cocky smile. _

"_Please. Don't." Zoey said. He looked at her, confused. "You've got that cocky look on your face. Please. If you value my sanity, do not open your mouth. Something embarrassing and totally inappropriate will come out." She was practically begging. Stark looked at her, hurt. _

"_She's right." I said. Stark glared at me, and Zoey kissed him. _

_She said something to him and he sighed. _

"_I don't hate you. I never hated you." He said. Ugh. I decided then was a pretty good time to tune them out. _

_Instead I just thought about how much I loved my Zoey. And she was my Zoey. I thought about how beautiful she was. I looked up at Kalona to see him staring at me with a knowing look on his face. He grinned. _

"_She is beautiful, isn't she?" He whispered. Okay, just that fact that he knew what I was thinking about was freaky as hell. He laughed almost silently. _

_I nodded before listening to what Zoey and her friends. Let me tell you, the Stevie Rae can talk. I just barely made out the tons of questions she was throwing at Zoey. _

"_Did you kill anybody? Please tell me you didn't kill anybody. Ohmygoodness, Z! What happened while I was gone? Why is everyone so pissed? What happened between you and Loren? Did everyone find out? Is that why they hate you? Oh my goddess, Zoey. I'm so sorry." I couldn't help but laugh. Zoey looked a little overwhelmed by all of the questions. _

"_Jesus, Stevie Rae! Calm down!" Zoey laughed. Stevie Rae took a few deep breaths. _

"_Answer every single question. This is important." She said seriously. Zoey narrowed her eyes, absently crossing her arms over her chest. _

"_You want me to answer the Loren questions first." She said. I grinned when Stevie Rae nodded eagerly. She grimaced and Stevie Rae glared at me. _

"_What did you do?" She snarled. Zoey pulled Stevie Rae to her side and pulled her over to the bed that I sat on. I looked at the evil look on Zoey's face and knew that I was in for it. _

"_Why don't you tell her, _baby_?" She said sarcastically. I winced. _

"_I was working for Neferet. She said for me to seduce Zoey to get her alone so she wouldn't be so powerful." I said, not looking at anyone. _

"_Uh... Stevie Rae? You can't murder him. Or hurt him. We're... we're Imprinted... again." Zoey said awkwardly. _

"_Oh, Zoey." Stevie Rae sighed. "What am I gonna to do with you?" _

"_So... wait..." I looked up to Stevie Rae grinning evilly at Zoey. "Ohmygoodness, Z! You're not a virgin anymore!" I laughed as Zoey's face went red. She scowled. _

"_Oh my goddess! You did what!" Aphrodite gasped. Zoey sighed, mortified. _

"_I, uh... yeah." She said quietly. Aphrodite giggled before she outright laughed. I guess Aphrodite wasn't too bad. _

"_I'm sorry, Z. That's just... even I'm still a virgin." She said. Zoey groaned and sat down where Stevie Rae used to be sitting, stepping over Stevie Rae, who had sank down to the floor, in the process. _

"_Thanks a lot." She mumbled. I smiled smugly. _

"_Anytime, Zoey." I said. She smacked me on the arm and I laughed. _

"_Disgusting." I heard her say. Once again, I couldn't pass it up. She really should have seen it coming. _

"_Once again, you didn't think it was disgusting when you were screwing with me." I said pleasantly. Stevie Rae and Aphrodite stopped laughing immediately. They looked at me, then at Zoey. Their expressions were hilarious. They blinked at her with wide eyes, shocked. _

"_Did he just say that?" Stevie Rae asked bluntly. Zoey nodded. _

"_Yep. Yep, he did." She whispered. _

"_It takes two to screw, babe." That was it for them. They started laughing again and Zoey sighed in annoyance. I noticed that even Stark was having a hard time not laughing. _

"_Okay. That's enough. Get out." Zoey said, stomping over to the door and throwing it open. Aphrodite held her hand. _

"_Okay. Okay. We'll stop." She said between giggles. She smacked Stevie Rae. _

"_Shut up. I don't wanna leave. Blake might say something." She whispered. I laughed. I liked these two. They weren't so bad. Plus, they loved teasing Zoey. _

"_Hello! I'm right here!" She exclaimed. _

"_Hello!" Stevie Rae said. _

"_We, like, don't care!" Aphrodite said. Zoey shook her head and sat down next to Kalona. She laid her head on his shoulder with a sigh. _

"_What the hell!" The three exclaimed. _

Chapter Two

~_That Was Never a Lie_~

**Later that night...**

_Zoey sighed as she laid back on her bed. _

"_That was horrible." She groaned. I smiled and sat down on the edge of her bed. She looked up at me. _

"_It wasn't too terribly bad." I reassured her. She sighed and bit her lip. "What's wrong, Zoey?" _

"_Well, Nyx. She told me something. When I had died." She said. I stared at her, shocked. _

"_What'd she say?" I asked. She looked away. I felt that she was unsure and embarrassed. _

"_Nothing. Never mind." She said quickly. I took her face in my hands. _

"_You can tell me, Zoey." I whispered. She turned away from me, pain jolting through her. "Zoey, I have no reason to lie to you anymore." Not that I had ever lied in the first place. She sighed and shook her head. I knew it was wrong. I shouldn't do this. But there were a lot of things that I shouldn't do that I did anyways. _

_I pushed her back against the bed and hovered over her. _

"_We can do this the easy way," I whispered. I lowered my lips to her, just barely brushing them against hers. "Or the hard way. You're pick." I felt shock and disbelief, and I grinned. _

"_Yes. Yes I would." I answered her question that had formed in her head. She just stared at me, frozen. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I smiled and pressed my lips against hers. She didn't move, but I felt her want. I looked down at her. _

"_What did she say?" I asked. She turned her head away, scowling. I kissed her neck and she tensed. _

"_You're such an ass." She whispered. I chuckled and kissed along her jaw. She sighed. _

"_Fine. She said something about you not lying in the first place. I wanted to know what she meant." She said. I froze. That was all? I just stared at her. _

"_Well? Are you gonna get off me? Cause that's a rip off if your not." She said. I laughed softly and slowly got off of her. U laid down next to her and grinned. She looked scared then and I laughed as I wrapped my arm around her, pulling her closer to me. _

"_Loren. Stop." She sighed. I looked at her and shook my head. _

"_I'm sorry, Zoey." I whispered. I pressed my lips to hers once more. "Please forgive me." She didn't kiss me back, but she didn't pull away. _

"_I... I still get to ask one question." She breathed. I pulled away and gave her a sad smile. She bit her lip. "Did you... did you love me?" I just barely made the words out but when I did, I smiled. _

"_No. Because I normally sleep with people I don't love." I said sarcastically. _

"_So you also love Neferet?" She asked. I grimaced. _

"_I did. Before she went all psycho crazy." I said. _

"_Bitch whore." I looked at her, confused. "Psycho crazy bitch whore." I laughed softly and nodded. _

"_And... yes." I said. It was her turn to be confused. "I love you, Zoey." She blushed and looked away. _

"_Loren..." she shook her head. "I can't... I fell for you. I loved you, but..." She looked back at me, tears in her eyes. "You used me. No matter how you feel now or how sorry you are, you still used me." She caressed my cheek, a deep sadness in her eyes. "I love Stark. He's my soul mate. He's my everything. But I love Kalona. I was made for him. I can't help but to feel these things for him..." She trailed off. She took a deep breath. "I still love you. If I didn't, you wouldn't be able to hurt me this much." I winced. "I... I forgive you, Loren. And I love you. But I can't be with you. No matter how much I want to." A single tear fell and she quickly turned away from me. _

"_I need to sleep. I'm tired and the sun will be up soon. I'd rather not burn to a crisp. 'Night." She said. I turned the light off. _

"_Do you mind?" I asked, reaching to wrap my arm around her. She was silent for a moment. She took my hand and wrapped my arm around her. _

"_Nothing more." She said, her voice voice of any emotion. I could feel her sadness, her hurt, her desperation. I understood why she was doing this, but that didn't make it hurt any less. I loved her. I wanted her. I needed her. And, suddenly, that need started boiling over. _

"_Zoey?" I whispered. She turned to me. She studied me. I'm sure she could feel my emotions through the bond. She bit my lip, and shook her head. _

"_We can't do this, Loren. Please." She whispered. She took my face in her hands. "Control yourself. It's a bitch. But you can." I shook my head. _

"_I don't want to." I breathed. I pulled her to me, kissing her with everything I had. She tried to push me away but suddenly stopped. She kissed me back. I didn't care that the kiss screamed goodbye. I didn't care that this was the last time I would kiss her, hold her. I didn't care that she was breaking my heart. I didn't care about any of those things. I needed her, and I needed her now. _

_I hovered over her, running my hands all over her body. She moaned and arched her back. She suddenly pulled away. _

"_This is the last time, Loren." She said. I nodded. "Why are you doing this when you know it's just going to hurt you even more?" I kissed her again. _

"_Because I love you." I whispered against her lips. _

_Zoey pulled the covers over us and snuggled into my chest. She looked up at me. _

"_I'm sorry." She said. I tightened my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as possible. _

"_There's nothing to be sorry for." I murmured. She looked at the window, the curtains covering most of them. There was a small opening in them, letting in the little bit of sunlight there was outside. She sighed heavily and closed her eyes. _

"_I love you." I said, smiling down at her. She smiled sadly. _

"_I know." She said. _

"_So where do we stand?" I asked. She slowly opened her eyes. _

"_Confused." She said. _

"_If you love me, then why can't you be with me?" I found myself asking. She smiled. _

"_I think I'm rubbing off on you." She said. I knew what she meant, but I didn't smile. She groaned softly. _

"_Look, I don't know, okay? I love Stark, Heath, Kalona, and you. Loren, I'm confused as hell. Why in the world are you asking me that?" She asked, looking at me like I grew two heads. I laughed, and rolled us over so that I was on top of her. _

"_I think I can clear a few things up." I said before I kissed her again. She moaned but pulled away. _

"_I need to sleep." She said with a small smile. I kissed her again. I didn't want to let her go. I couldn't let her go. I loved her too much to see her with anyone else. She winced. _

"_I'm sorry, Loren. I truly am." She said. "But we. Can't. Do. This." Her voice was firm and confirming. I sighed and got off of her... somewhat. _

"_You don't have to let me go, Loren. It's more like..." She trailed off, looking for the words. "We're on hiatus, okay?" I smiled sadly and nodded. She went to pull away but I tightened my arms around her. _

"_You said I didn't have to let you go. So I'm not letting go. At least not tonight." I said. She laid her head on my chest and fell asleep as I gently trailed my fingers up and down her back. _

"_I love you... so much, Zoey." I whispered before I drifted off to sleep. _

**I know, I know. One, the Chapter Two was shorter. I just CANNOT write in Loren's POV. The whole first chapter I had copied from the first one. LOL. AND, I know that I said I wouldn't put them together until the end BUT this was a goodbye thing. And yes... they did THAT. I didn't want to mess with trying to write an M Rated scene. So... you're going to get Zoey's outlook on the whole thing today as well. PLUS, the part I skipped with the little title later that night. LOL. Again. So... I think I just might stay in Zoey's POV unless it's something really big. **

**Now, there's this little button at the bottom that says REVIEW. You're supposed to click it when you're done reading. You click and type for the author to update as soon as possible. SO CLICK. IT. Thank you, Jessica Baylin**


	3. I'm Not Ready to Let You Go

**I know, I know. It's been forever. I've had a lot to do for the past few weeks. The worst being boyfriends, and girlfriend, issues. UGH! I hate those issues. **

**BTW: I don't really have any ideas for the LATER THE NIGHT title I had put on the last chapter. So... I just rewrote what I had already written in Zoey's POV. BUT... YOU GET A LEMON. Written by ME, Jessica Baylin. All by myself. Because Cyara is a pregnant, hormonal bitch. **

**So... here's your next chapter. **

Chapter Three

~_I'm Not Ready to Let You Go_~

_Zoey_

Chapter Two

Zoey's POV

I sighed as I laid back on my bed.

"That was horrible." I groaned. Loren smiled and sat down on the edge of my bed. I looked up at him.

"It wasn't too terribly bad." He reassured me. Yeah. Easy for him to say. I sighed and bit my lip. "What's wrong, Zoey?"

"Well, Nyx. She told me something. When I had died." I said. He stared at me, shocked. _Why_, exactly, would that shock him? It was _me_ we were talking about.

"What'd she say?" He asked. I looked away. I'm pretty sure he could feel my embarrassment.

"Nothing. Never mind." I said quickly. He took my face in his hands.

"You can tell me, Zoey." He whispered. I turned away from him, pain flowing through me. He had said that before.

"Zoey, I have no reason to lie to you anymore." Honestly? That didn't make me feel any better. I sighed and shook my head. There was no way in _hell_ that I was going to tell him.

He suddenly pushed me down on the bed, hovering over me.

"We can do this the easy way," He whispered. He kissed me softly, his lips barely brushing against mine.

"Or the hard way. You're pick." He wouldn't dare.

"Yes. Yes I would." He answered. I just stared at him, shocked and frozen to the core. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He smiled and kissed me again. I didn't move, but goddess did I want to. I wanted him so much, but I was scared to love him. To let him back in.

"What did she say?" Loren asked. I turned my head away, scowling. He kissed my neck and I tensed.

"You're such an ass." I whispered. He chuckled as he kissed along my jaw. I sighed, giving in.

"Fine. She said something about you not lying in the first place. I wanted to know what she meant." I blurted. He froze, still not moving to get off of me.

"Well? Are you gonna get off me? 'Cause that's a rip off if you're not." I said. He laughed softly, but got off of me. I mentally sighed in relief. He laid down next to me and grinned. I was instantly terrified. There was no telling what was going on inside that head of his. He laughed as he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me closer to him. No! Not again!

"Loren. Stop." I sighed. He looked at me and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Zoey." He whispered before he pressed his lips to mine once more. "Please forgive me."

I didn't kiss him back, but I didn't pull away. Yeah. Like I could. I needed to focus, and that was not going to happen with him on top of me. But, I managed to anyway. Yeah. Always trying to find a way around things.

"I... I still get to ask one question." I breathed. He pulled away and smiled sadly. I bit my lip. "Did you... did you love me?" He smiled.

"No. Because I normally sleep with people I don't love." He said sarcastically. Wanna bet?

"So you also love Neferet?" I asked, hoping he would say no. He grimaced.

"I did. Before she went all psycho crazy." He said.

"Bitch whore." I added. He looked at me, confused. "Psycho crazy bitch whore."

He laughed and nodded.

"And... yes." He said. I honestly had no idea what he was talking about.

"I love you, Zoey." I felt my face heat up. I looked away.

"Loren..." I shook my head. "I can't... I fell for you. I loved you, but..." I looked back at him, tears in my eyes. Damn hormones.

"You used me. No matter how you feel now or how sorry you are, you still used me." I caressed his cheek, wishing none of this had ever happened.

"I love Stark. He's my soul mate. He's my everything. But I love Kalona. I was made for him. I can't help but to feel these things for him..." I trailed off. I took a deep breath. "I still love you. If I didn't, you wouldn't be able to hurt me this much." He winced slightly, but I saw it.

"I... I forgive you, Loren. And I love you. But I can't be with you. No matter how much I want to." A single tear fell and I quickly turned away from him.

"I need to sleep. I'm tired and the sun will be up soon. I'd rather not burn to a crisp. 'Night." I said quickly. He turned the light off and I sighed.

"Do you mind?" He asked, reaching to wrap his arm around me. I wasn't sure what to do or say. I couldn't tell him that we couldn't be together, and then let him hold me like he does. I took a deep breath. I took his hand and wrapped his arm around my waist.

"Nothing more." I said, my voice void of any emotion. I couldn't stand doing this. I wanted him so much. I loved him so much. But I had to do this. I needed to fix my guy problems by eliminating them. I knew I couldn't be with Loren. I loved Stark more. I knew I couldn't be with Kalona. I loved Stark more. In the end, Stark was the one.

I felt Loren's want, love, and need. All of that... for me. Suddenly, it increased into pure lust and desire. Ah, hell!

"Zoey?" He whispered. I turned to him, studying him closely. I knew we shouldn't do this. I bit my lip and shook my head.

"We can't do this, Loren. Please." I whispered. I took his face in my hands, my lips lingering over his. I knew it was wrong, but I wanted to give him _something_.

"Control yourself. It's a bitch. But you can." He shook his head.

"I don't want to." He breathed. He pulled me to him, kissing me with what I knew was everything he had, everything he felt for me. And damn, was it a kiss.

I tried to push him away but suddenly stopped. Screw it! I thought before I kissed him back.

The kiss screamed goodbye. I hated that... but, like I had said, I wanted to give him something. This was what I was giving him. One last night with me before I said goodbye. Before I broke his heart.

But, through the Imprint, I could feel that I already was. I was breaking his heart into millions of pieces. Just like mine had broken years ago.

He hovered over me, running his hands all over my body. I moaned arched my back, needing more. But, I needed him to know that this was the last time. I pulled away.

"This is the last time, Loren." I said, the words burning as I said them. He nodded.

"Why are you doing this when you know it's just going to hurt you even more?" I whispered, my voice breaking slightly. He kissed me again.

"Because I love you." He whispered.

Our clothes didn't last much longer.

His hands were all over me... and I still couldn't get enough of him. His hand rubbed over me and I moaned. His lips went to my neck and I gasped as one of his fingers entered me.

He added another, pumping them in and out. I moaned against, and brought his lips back to mine.

"Loren..." I whispered. "I need you."

He pulled his fingers out of me and rolled us over. Gripping my hips, he lowered me onto him. I moaned and closed my eyes. I moved against him slowly, taunting him. He groaned and I grinned down at him. I brought my mouth down to his and kissed him. The kiss was slow and hot and filled with desire and lust.

I moved faster, moaning with him. I bit into his neck, needing to taste him. The pleasure exploded within me as I reached my peak. I moaned as he found his release. I kissed him again.

"I really do love you, Loren." I said softly. I kissed him again. "So, so much."

"I know." He said. I could feel, see, and hear the sadness that filled him. I felt tears in my eyes and I kissed him again, needing him as much as he needed me, this one last time.

I pulled the covers over us and snuggled into his chest. I looked up at him.

"I'm sorry." I said. He tightened his arms around me, pulling me as close to him as possible. But, like always, it wasn't enough for me.

"There's nothing to be sorry for." He murmured. I got that familiar feeling I got when the sun was up.

I looked out the window, the curtains covering most of them. There was a small opening in them, letting in the little bit of sunlight there was outside. I sighed heavily, suddenly exhausted, and closed my eyes.

"I love you." Loren said. I smiled sadly.

"I know." I said.

"So where do we stand?" He asked. I slowly opened my eyes, finding it hard to do so.

"Confused." I said.

"If you love me, then why can't you be with me?" He asked. I could tell that he didn't mean to ask that. I smiled.

"I think I'm rubbing off on you." I said. He didn't smile, thought I knew he knew what I meant. I groaned softly.

"Look, I don't know, okay? I love Stark, Heath, Kalona, and you. Loren, I'm confused as hell. Why in the world are you asking me that?" I asked, looking at him like he had grown two heads. He laughed, and rolled us over so that he was on top of me.

"I think I can clear a few things up." He said before he kissed me again. I moaned, needing him, but, barely, managed to pulled away.

"I need to sleep." I said with a small smile. He kissed me again. I could feel his need, love and pure desperation. He didn't want to let me go. The thought scared him. It hurt him, tearing him up inside. And honestly? It tore me up inside, too.

"I'm sorry, Loren. I truly am." I said. "But we. Can't. Do. This." My voice was stern and confirming. He sighed and got off of me... somewhat. Okay, see... even I wasn't ready for that, and I was the one saying we couldn't be together.

"You don't have to let me go, Loren. It's more like..." I trailed off, looking for the words. "We're on hiatus, okay?" He smiled sadly and nodded. I went to pull away but he tightened his arms around me.

"You said I didn't have to let you go. So I'm not letting go. At least not tonight." He said. I laid my head on his chest and started dosing off as he gently trailed his fingers up and down my back.

"I love you... so much, Zoey." I heard him whisper as I fell into a dreamless sleep.

Chapter Three

**(Sorry for the confusion but this is the ACTUAL chapter three )**

"Zoey, love. You need to wake up." I groaned.

"I don't wanna." I mumbled. Loren laughed as he trailed his fingers up and down my back.

"I know you don't, love. But you have to. Trust me. I don't want to, either." He said sadly. Then everything hit me. Last night, me saying goodbye. Damn. I was hoping the was all just a nightmare.

But... if it was this hard to let him go... then why was I? Stark was everything to me but... so was Loren. They were both my everything. I couldn't live without either one of them. I took a deep breath and looked up at Loren. He smiled sadly. I looked away.

"I feel like shit. In every way." I said miserably.

"Well... I can fix that physically." He teased. I rolled my eyes.

"You are _such_ a guy." I said.

"You're just now figured that out?" He asked sarcastically.

He was suddenly hovering over me.

"Loren..." He shook his head.

"I know what you said, Zoey." He said. He kissed my collarbone. "But if it's this hard for you to let me go, if you want, and love, me this much... then why not me?" He kissed my neck. "If it's this hard... then how do you know who you love more?" He kissed my cheek. Goddess, he was killing me! I groaned.

"I love you, Loren. But I can't. I can't hurt Stark. I love him. _He's_ my everything." I said. He went to pull away but I wrapped my arms around him. He looked at me, confused. I bit my lip before I kissed him softly. I pulled away after only a second or two, and let him go.

I got up and quickly got my clothes together and got in the shower. I brushed my teeth and hair. I smiled at myself in the mirror. I couldn't help but notice the look in my eyes. The pain, the need... the loneliness.

"I'm losing it." I muttered to myself. I messed with my hair a bit more before I left the bathroom.

"You okay?" Loren asked. I glanced up at him and nodded.

"Fine." I said quietly.

"Really? 'Cause you seem kind of nervous." He said. He pulled me to him. "You can't lie to me, Zoey. You should know that by now." I bit my lip. He had a point. The Imprint kinda made that impossible. To an extent.

"I'm just... I dunno. I guess I kinda am a little nervous." I said, stepping out of his arms. For some reason, I just couldn't stay still. "But... that's bound to happen when you constantly have to save the world all the time."

He cocked his head to the side, studying me intently. I could tell he was trying to feel me through the Imprint and I immediately blocked him out. He narrowed his eyes and took a step towards me. I mirrored his movement by stepping back.

I felt the wall against my back and he placed a hand on either side of me, trapping me there.

"What are you hiding, Zoey?" He asked. I looked away. Honestly. It wasn't that important. I mean, maybe to him it would be but... okay. So it was pretty damn important. But I couldn't tell him. That would defeat the whole purpose.

"What is so important?" Loren asked. Damn! The Imprint! Ugh! I was going to have to break that. "Why would you?"

Stay out of my head! I screamed. He winced slightly. He took a step closer. Okay... way out of my comfort zone.

"Why can't you tell me, Zoey?" He asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I bit my lip, tears in my eyes. I couldn't make my voice work then so I just thought.

I just can't.

"Why?" He whispered.

I want to... but I can't. I don't know why. A tear fell then. I really did want to tell him. I probably really needed to but... it's me we're talking about. Me = stubborn.

"Zoey. You can tell me anything." He said. "You know that."

Okay... I'm kind of losing here. He smiled, his lips almost on mine.

Please. Stop.

"Do you really want me to?" He asked, his lips brushing against mine.

No.

"Yes." I breathed.

"You lie." He accused. He kissed me softly. I let the tears fall, not caring who saw. I pushed him away from me.

"I don't care how much I want you or love you or need you. It doesn't change a damn thing." I said, my voice cold and hard. "I love Stark more than I love you or Kalona or anyone else. _He's my everything_. He's my heart, my soul, my Guardian. You can't be anything." I pushed past him and nearly ran out of the room.

"Zoey?" I threw myself into Stark's arms.

"I love you. I love you so much." I whispered. "More than anything."

"I love you, too, Z." He whispered. He pulled away. "What happened? Your emotions are driving me crazy." I laughed through my tears. I shook my head.

"Nothing. I just... I just had to break someone's heart." I whispered.

"Loren?" He asked. I winced but nodded. He pulled me to him again.

"I know you love him, Z. That much is obvious, but..." He trailed off.

"What?" I asked.

"Why did you dump him? If you love him so much, why did you push him away?" He asked. I caressed his cheek, bringing his lips to mine.

"Because _you_ are my everything. _You_ are my heart, my soul," I kissed him harder. "_My_ Guardian." He smiled sadly.

"I know you love me, Zoey." He said. He sighed, the smile fading. "But you can have more than one everything. I can feel how much you love him, as much as I hate to say it." He pulled away. "I love you, Zoey. I would die for you. If you asked for the world, I would find a way to give it to you. But," He slid his hand out of mine. "You need to think. You need to think about who you need to choose. Who _really_ makes you happy. Whole. And to do that... you need to be alone. You can't have all of this on your mind." He turned. I grabbed him by the wrist.

"Please." I whispered. "Don't leave me." Just the thought of him leaving me caused a wave of terror to flow through me, through my veins. He turned and pulled me back into his arms.

"I'm not leaving you. I will never leave you." He held me tight. "But you need to be alone for a while, think things out." He pulled away once again and left.

I bit my lip, watching him leave. I was scared, hurt, desperate, and anxious. Very, very anxious.

"A-ya, my lost love, what is wrong?" I flinched at Kalona's voice. I didn't look at him. I saw him coming towards me, reaching for me but I took a step away from him. I shook my head. I felt like I was about to explode.

"Don't. Please. I need... to think..." I chocked on the words, like I couldn't get them to come out.

"What's wrong?" He asked. He took another step towards me and I sank to the ground. I put my head in my knees, my hands covering my head. I rocked back and forth.

"Stop thinking, stop thinking." I kept repeating the words to myself. Slowly, too slow, sense returned to me. I stopped shaking and went still. I took a few deep breaths before I lowered my arms, wrapping them around my knees.

Kalona sat in front of me, watching me with concern. I bit my lip. He reached over to me and I flinched slightly. His hand froze. After a moment, he continued to reach out for my hand.

He took my hand in his and I let him pull me into his arms. He held me close, but like he thought I might break if he held me too tight. I laid my head on his shoulder.

"I think you need to leave the House for a little while." He said cautiously. Fear and panic jolted through me. He sensed that and he ran his hand up and down my arm. I shivered at the cold heat that shot through me. It only lasted a second. I narrowed my eyes at him and he smiled.

"It calms you down." He said. I laid my head back down on his shoulder.

I can't leave. I thought. I just can't.

"Why can't you leave, my A-ya?" Kalona asked. Ah... really? Really? Can everyone get in my head now? He laughed.

"No. Just me... and I'm guessing a few others?" I nodded.

_Loren... I think Stark can. Not real sure._ I thought. _And I can't leave because that's why I feel so shitty. I just had to break Loren's heart and Stark is leaving me alone so I can "think things out"_.

"And what are these "things" that you need to think about?" He asked.

_I love Stark, more than anything. He's my everything. But I love Loren. I can't live without him. I don't want to let him go, but I know I have to because I love Stark._ I paused and bit my lip.

"What is it?" Kalona asked. I shook my head, blocking him out as best as I could. I tensed when the pleasurable pain flowed through me.

_No fair_. I accused.

"Tell me." He said softly. I hissed through my teeth and shook my head. He kissed my temple as his hand went lower. I couldn't help the small moan that escaped my lips as his hand caressed my most sensitive spot.

This was _so_ not fair.

"I never said I was fair, my A-ya." He whispered in my ear.

Goddess! Where was Erik when you needed him?

"Erik Night?" Kalona asked. "I thought you broke up with the boy."

_Exactly. Because he's a testosterone filled ass. He creates tension. Tension would be nice right now. _

"Really?" He asked. I moaned as his hand rubbed over me. His wings surrounded us. I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"You seem to be enjoying it." He said.

_I hate you._ I thought. Okay, you know it's sad when you can't even convince yourself.

"Look at me, Zoey." He said seductively. I bit my lip and looked at him. He smiled and I looked away. He kissed my temple, my cheek, my jaw, my neck. Every time he kissed me, I turned my head a fraction towards him.

"My Zoey." He murmured. I shivered as he said my name. "My beautiful Zoey."

He slowly, as if giving me time to pull away, brought his lips to mine. I moaned and caressed his cheek, kissing him harder.

_I love you, my Warrior_. He froze and I pulled away. I bit my lip, holding back a small smile. I pushed him away and slowly stood. I turned on my heel and grinned proudly at all of the gaping fledglings.

"Lucky bitch." I heard someone whisper.

Yeah. I was so lucky to be one of the living undead. Kalona laughed softly.

Okay, I can be all no big deal about this or I can rub it in their faces. "Their" meaning Becca. I love that idea. I sneered at Becca. She glared daggers at me and my grin widened. Take that... bitch.

Kalona wrapped an arm around me and I leaned against him. I nearly laughed at Cassie's face. She looked at Becca, then back at me.

"Zoey is _so_ awesome." She breathed. The others nodded while Becca glared at them. I honestly think she's worse than Neferet. Now, that's just sad. I wrapped my other arm around Kalona. He kissed me hard, knowing exactly what I was doing. I pulled away after a while, a grin on my face.

I turned and slowly made my way down the halls, flipping Becca off in the process.

I laughed when I was sure no one would hear me.

My grin faded, however, when I saw Loren with the "nerd-herd". I slowed, trying to lengthen my time alone with sanity. At that thought, Loren looked up. I was about to go over to them but thought better of it. I walked past them, ignoring the "Hey, Z" and "What's up" from the Twins.

I turned the corner that they were standing near and swiftly climbed up the wall, calling earth to hide me.

"Ohmigoddess!" I heard Cassie squeal. "We saw Kalona in the hall. He was just sitting there. We all knew he was making out with someone but we didn't know who. Guess who it was!"

"We don't care." The Twins said.

"It was _the_ Zoey Redbird!" Becca's group said together.

"What!" My friends exclaimed. I winced. Suddenly, they turned down the corner I had went down.

"You won't find her." Loren said.

_Please. Don't._ I thought desperately.

"What do you mean?" Damien asked. Loren paused before he slowly looked up to where I was. I pointed at me.

"She's right there." He said. I bared my teeth at him. I jumped down to the ground, landing softly on my feet. My friends came towards me and backed away with every step they took. They stopped, confused.

_I don't want to be with them._ I thought, looking at Loren. I felt his shock and confusion and worry. _Tell them. My voice decided that it wasn't going to work_. He turned to the others.

"She said that... she doesn't want to be with you." He said.

"Yeah right." Shaunee snorted.

"We're her best friends." Erin said.

"Yeah. And how would you know, Dickhead?" Aphrodite demanded.

"Because our Imprint is stronger than the one she had with Heath and I can hear the thoughts she sends to me. And when she's not blocking me in the first place." Loren answered calmly.

"I don't believe you." Erin said.

"Yeah. She's our best friend." Shaunee agreed. I shook my head. They looked at me, confused.

"What?" They asked, taking a step towards me. I took another step back.

_They are __**not**__ my friends._ I thought.

"She said... thought... that you are not her friends." Loren said quietly. He had been staring at the ground the entire time.

"Zoey?" Damien whispered. I slowly looked up from the floor, my teeth bared slightly. I knew my eyes were a dark red. They all took a step back.

_They are no friends of mine. I have no friends._ I thought darkly.

"You are not her friends. She has no friends." Loren said.

"How can you actually tell us this?" Erin asked.

"Yeah. She's saying that you're not her friend, either." Shaunee said. Loren looked up, not at them, but at me.

"None of you were my concern." He said, his eyes not leaving mine. "She is. I don't care about anyone else but her. She's the only one that can hurt me." The last part was for me alone. I felt tears in my eyes and I shook my head. Jack took a step towards me and I, once again, backed away. A tear fell down his face, but I felt nothing.

It wasn't my fault I died.

Loren slowly made his way over to me. I started to take a step back, but he stopped. After a moment or two, he continued to make his way to where I stood. He slowly reached out and took my hand in his.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

_I'm the one who said we couldn't be together._ I thought.

"Wait, so... he can come near you but we, your best friends, can't?" Erin demanded, crossing her arms across her chest.

_Exactly_, I thought as I nodded to them.

"It's not her fault she died." Loren said. I took a slow, hesitant step towards him.

I slowly wrapped my arms around him. I felt the tears fall and I turned my head away from the others.

"I understand that you died and all, but you don't have to be such a bitch about it." Shaunee snapped. I was instantly in front of her, teeth bared and snarling. She took a step back but continued to glare at me.

"I'm not scared of you, Redbird." She said. I hissed as I grabbed Erin and sank my teeth into her skin, drinking her delicious blood greedily. Shaunee screamed, trying to pull me off of her Twin.

I bet you're scared now. I thought with a sneer.

"Zoey!" I flinched at his booming voice. "Let her go. Now!" His hand wrapped around the top of my arm, his grasp hard. I whimpered and let Erin go. His grip loosened as soon as my teeth were out of her skin. He pulled me towards him.

"Neferet heard. I can't keep her away from you." He murmured for me alone.

Ah, hell. I was so. Screwed.

"I'll try to keep her... calm." He assured me. I glanced up at him, terrified.

"Why are you scared, A-ya?" He asked with a small smile. "You are stronger than Neferet."

_Uh... yeah. Have you lost your damn mind! _

He laughed before he looked at a few of the other Red fledglings.

"Get the fledgling to the infirmary. Zoey is a little... different the all of you." He said.

_I'm confused._ I thought.

"I will explain later, Zoey." He whispered.

Neferet stood at her desk, her back to us. As soon as we entered, she sighed in frustration.

"Why, Zoey, do you always have to make a scene?" She asked.

"I didn't mean to." I blurted. Kalona stood in the doorway, leaving us alone... somewhat. Thank god he was there, or else I would already be dead. Again.

"Of course you didn't." She said. I could hear the sneer in her voice. One word: Annoying.

"I'm sorry, my Queen. It will never happen again." I said quietly. She turned, then, and I nearly took a step back. Her eyes were glowing red, burning with anger and hatred.

"No. It won't. Because, if it does, I will kill you, slowly and painfully." She snarled. "Understand?"

Now, I have no idea why this happens, but it tended to happen whenever I got really scared. I smirked at her.

"I understand that someone didn't take their medicine this morning." I said, straight-faced. Kalona sighed, trying not to laugh. Neferet's eyes flashed an even brighter red before they went back to the deep green that they normally were.

"Now, Zoey." She sighed. She walked around her desk until she was right in front of me. "I know we've had a pretty... complicated relationship. But I think now is the perfect time to... start over. Don't you agree?" I raised a brow.

"Really? I don't think so." I snapped, my voice cold as ice. I pushed past her and went over to her desk. I picked up a purple candle that sat on her desk, turning it over in my hand. I leaned back against her desk, studying the candle intently.

"See... last time I trusted you, you turned out to be a backstabbing bitch. Which you still are." I said, not really caring what-the-hell-happened next. "I saw you as a mother, Neferet. But you turned on me. That hurt." I stopped spinning the candle in my hand, and slowly set it back down on the desk.

"And... I don't get hurt. Not anymore. Pain, hurt, betrayal, all of those things turn into two emotions. Anger." I made my way over to her, standing only a few inches away from her.

"And hatred." I said, my voice dark and dangerous. I took a few steps back before I turned around, looking at all of the books in the bookcases that covered to walls. I ran my fingertips on the old, ancient books.

"See... here's what I don't understand." I continued nonchalantly. "This is me we're talking about. Zoey Redbird. I can control all of the five elements. And I am the only one in your way. So... when I died... you should have left me dead. Or, at least, that's what I expected. But... you brought me back." I turned back around, meeting Kalona's eyes as I leaned back again the bookshelves.

"What I don't get is why." I shifted my gaze to hers. "Did you actually think that I would listen to you just because you brought me back? Sure, I have a temper. Just like the others. I love blood. Just like the others. But here's something that I have, that they don't. Sanity." I crossed my arms over my chest, my gaze not leaving hers.

"I will not serve you. I will not worship you. Because I'm. Not. Crazy." I said slowly and distinctly. I let my arms fall to my sides as I straightened up and continued to make my way around the room.

"Now... I do not worship the goddess, seeing how she let me die. But I don't hate her. I respect her for the things she does. But I don't worship her." I stopped again, looking at Neferet over my shoulder. "But I definitely don't worship you. Neferet, you're crazy. You're... you're a psycho crazy bitch whore. And don't bother denying it, either. You kill people for power. You kill them because they get in your way. You kill the for power. You're a psychopath. It's a fact." I turned to face her.

"You're crazy. Okay? Only a crazy person would do the things that you do. Hell, only a crazy person would be even capable of doing the things you do." I took a deep breath and, very slowly, made my back over to her.

"You're a bitch. You're cruel and hateful and evil. All of this that I'm telling you are facts. You are a whore. I used to think you were the most beautiful person on the planet. Now, when I see you, I think you're the most disgusting. Yes, you are beautiful... but you twist that into something else. It's... watching you... is like watching porn." I took another deep breath and wrapped my fingers around the pure silver chain that hung around my neck.

"I don't worship you. I don't worship Nyx." I was right in front of her now. "I worship only one person." I pulled the chain upwards, letting the onyx wings shine in the moonlight that came in through the one window.

Now... mine were different. They were made of onyx, sleek and black. But there were very fine lines of moonstone, silver, and diamond that etched every detail. The chain was made of pure silver.

Neferet just stared at me, stunned silent.

"I... as much as I hate you, Neferet... I must respect you." I said, letting the chain go. "You brought me back, giving me another chance to prove myself." I put my fist over my heart. "That makes you my Queen." I let my arm fall down to my side.

"This will never happen again." I said. She just blinked at me, speechless. I looked at a proud, and more than slightly smug, Kalona.

I pushed past her as I went to leave. I looked at Kalona expectantly. He stepped aside and I left, a grin making its way to my face.

"Hey, Zoey!" I looked behind me to see a Red fledgling running towards me.

She caught up to me and linked her arm with mine.

She had straight, dirty, blonde hair and dark, hazel eyes. She was really skinny and, honestly? She looked like major crap. Seriously. You would think Neferet... or someone would feed and treat these kids right.

"I'm Megan." She said. "I've been a Red fledgling for about a week now. The others don't really pay me much attention. Hey! You seemed pretty close to that Stevie Rae girl. The others that live here treat her different. Why?"

I took a deep breath and let it out in a heavy sigh. She looked at me, confused. I opened my mouth as if to say something, but, for some reason, nothing came out. I think the only reason I was able to speak to Neferet was because I was honestly terrified. And because it was time someone told her off.

But now, my voice was, once again, on hold.

"Zoey!" I looked up at Loren's voice. Loren and Stark made their way over to us. Stark stopped a few feet away from us and hissed at Megan.

Megan pulled away from me, snarling back at him.

_STOP! _I screamed in my thoughts.

"Oh, shut up! Both of you." Loren said in annoyance. Stark looked at me, shocked and confused.

"She's evil, Zoey." He said. "She's killed people."

"I didn't mean to!" Megan screeched. I immediately knew that I needed to get out of there. I pushed past the three of them, quickly making my way down the halls.

I had told Neferet that I wouldn't make another seen. I hadn't started this, but I didn't want to be seen in it, either.

"Good idea." Loren said. I stopped and turned to him.

_What do you want?_ I snapped.

"I heard your thoughts. I saw Megan asking you questions and you can't exactly talk right now." He said. I nodded in agreement.

"Zoey! Wait!" Stark called, catching up to us. I slowed, eying him warily. He draped his arm around my shoulders, his cocky grin in place.

I cocked my head to the side.

"If you're wondering if I can hear your thoughts, the answer would be yes." He said. I groaned.

_Woo-fucking-hoo._ I thought sarcastically.

I sat down, waiting for Loren (uh... Professor Blake?) to come in.

Okay, I seriously hated this class now. Why? Because Loren was the professor. Yeah, this was so totally gonna suck.

I can honestly say, I have never seen the Twins so eager to learn about poetry.

Every damn female in the room sighed dreamily. I looked around the room then at Loren. He nodded, like this happened every day. He looked at me again and nodded slightly.

_W-O-W._ I thought.

"I seriously lurrrrve this class." Shaunee whispered to Erin.

"Ditto, Twin." Erin whispered back. I bowed my head down, running a hand through my hair, unable to keep the smile off my face.

"He is too hot for his own damn good." Erin breathed.

"Mhmm." Shaunee said.

I couldn't help it. I leaned over towards them and said, loud enough so everyone could hear, "Do you actually learn anything here, or do you fantasize what our _professor_ looks like naked?"

Their mouths fell to the floor, eyes widening.

"Too _amazing_ to imagine." I said, sinking down in my chair. There were snickers and nervous giggles.

"Like _you_ would know." Becca sneered at me. I smiled, amused.

"Actually, I do. As a matter-of-fact, I had sex with him. _Twice_." I said, not caring who heard. Her eyes widened. I smiled sweetly. "Yeah. So I suggest you shut the fuck up, leave me the hell alone, and be a good little fledgling." And, at that, I turned in my seat, facing the front. I smiled innocently at a stunned Loren.

"Carry on, babe." I said, straight-faced. I leaned back in my chair. Maybe Poetry wasn't so bad after all.

"_O,_" Shaunee said.

"_M,_" Erin continued.

"_G._" Cassie and "Becca's" group said, while Becca stared at the wall. Every other female in the room took out their phones and started texting and Tweeting. I slapped the palm of my hand to my forehead.

"And you can't wait 'till _after_ class?" I said, rolling my eyes.

"And you couldn't wait to tell us this _after_ class?" Becca said with a glare. I shook my head, the smile never leaving my face, and stood. I got my books together and slung my bag over my shoulder. I went over to Loren.

"I have to see Neferet in fifteen minutes and, seeing how she wants to meet at the Benedictine Abbey, I need to leave now." I said. I could feel his confusion at how I was able to talk now, but I pushed it away. I grinned before and caressed his cheek briefly before kissed his lips softly. There were gasps and a phone fell to the floor.

"Daaaamn." The Twins said, dragging out the word. I grinned, not looking back at them. I backed up against the door, opening it, still facing Loren. I gestured at all of the student who were gawking at us, phones still in their hands.

"Good luck with aaaall of them." I whispered sweetly.

—

I sighed as I slung my stuff into the corner next to the door of my dorm room. I groaned when I saw Loren sitting on my bed, arms crossed across his chest. He didn't look too happy. I ran a hand through my hair.

_Save it. Neferet had, somehow, gotten a text from someone in the House... or from someone that someone texted from the House._ I thought wearily. _She got all pissed and nearly blew a gasket. _

"_WHAT?_" He exclaimed, looking confused as hell.

_She got a text that said that **the** Zoey Redbird had sex with **the** Loren Blake, hottest effing male on the **planet**, **and** kissed him in Tulsa's fourth period poetry class. _I explained. He just blinked at me.

"Hottest effing male on the planet?" He asked. I nodded and shrugged.

_You're hot. It's a total DUH question._ I thought dismissively. He laughed, and sighed as he stood.

_What happened when I left?_

He groaned. "They kept asking me question about... us. And very... inappropriate ones." I snorted.

_Coming from a teacher who lied to and seduced her student... no offense._ I added. He narrowed his eyes and pinned me to the wall.

"You didn't seem to have a problem with it when you were moaning my name." He murmured against my lips.

I had nothing to say to that. I couldn't even form a coherent thought.

He smiled and pressed his lips to mine. I tried to pull away but I couldn't. He pressed himself closer to me.

_Please. Stop._ I thought.

"Is that what you _really_ want, Zoey?" He whispered.

_It's not what I __**want**__. But you need to. You have to._ I thought. He groaned.

"Why?" He asked.

_Because, we can't be together._ I thought back to him.

"Why?" He whispered, heartbroken. I bit my lip and took his hand in mine. I pulled him over to my bed. I sat down, pulling him down with me. I wrapped my arms around him. He wrapped his around my waist, pulling my as close to him as possible.

"Loren... I love you. Very much." I said. "But I love Stark. I will not hurt him and I will not leave him. I love him more than anything. I know he is my everything. And you know that." I pulled away a little. "I will not leave him to be with you, or anyone else. You have to let me go. Just like I have to let you go."

I pulled away, standing. I felt his fingers wrap around my wrist. He pulled me back to him. He buried his face in my hair.

"I'm not ready to let you go." He whispered. I closed my eyes. I knew the feeling. I knew I loved Stark more, but that didn't make leaving Loren any easier. I still loved Loren, almost as much as Stark. But see... that's the thing. I loved him _almost_ as much as Stark. Stark was still ahead.

It was Stark.

It would always be Stark.

But... the truth was... I wasn't ready to let go of Loren, either. Now, that didn't mean I was going to have heavy make-out sessions with him or have sex with him anymore. A few stolen kisses here and there, when we both needed each other most.

Stark was my spirit. Without him, I was nothing. I would not be who I was. Without my Spirit, my Stark, I would be broken.

Loren was my air. Without him, I could not breathe. Without him, I would be drowning in confusion, heartbreak, fear, and insanity. Without him, I would be broken.

Kalona was my fire. Without him, I would lose a part of my self; memories. Without him, I would be lost in this world. I would be broken.

Heath was my water. Without him, I would be lost. I would be lost within myself, still trying to figure out who I really was. Without him... I would die. I would be broken.

I had yet to find my earth. I had often thought that Heath was my earth... but he wasn't. I just knew that he wasn't. There was someone else. Someone that was always right in front of me.

But, no matter what they were to me... without one of them, I would be broken. In one way or nother, I would be broken.

So I would stay with Loren until I was ready to let him go. I would heal him as he healed me. I would be there for him when he needed me; hold him when he needed to be held, kiss him when he needed that touch.

Because, for now...

"I'm not ready to let you go." I whispered aloud.

**Okay. This chapter was NINE PAGES LONG! It took me almost four days to write it, mostly because I kept working on SYBG. **

**NOW! I know I said I wasn't going to update until I got all of Open Arms done, BUT I am going to update all of my stories THEN work on it. Actually, now that I've thought about it, I'm super eager to start working on it again. So... REVIEW and encourage me through PM's and reviews to work on Open Arms and Not Again because if you do, I won't put it off because I'm pretty sure that will get annoying. **

**Jessica Baylin**


	4. It's Always Been You

**Here's your next chapter. REVIEW. _~Jessica Baylin~_**

**Inspiration: Empire State of Mine Glee & I Dreamed a Dream Glee**

Chapter Four

~_It's Always Been You_~

_Zoey_

I took a deep breath before I knocked on his door.

"Zoey?" He asked, confused to see me at his door at almost five AM.

"Can I come in?" I asked. He nodded and stepped to the side to I could come in.

I sat down on his bad with a heavy sigh.

"What's wrong, Zoey?" He asked. "You're emotions are driving me insane."

"I love you." I blurted. I straddling him, bringing my lips to his. "I love you so much. It's you. It's always been you, Stark."

His hands went to my hips as I rocked against him. I moaned as his hands wandered all over my body. He pushed me against his bed.

He broke the kiss just long enough for him to get my shirt up and over my head.

His mouth went back to mine and I kissed him back enthusiastically.

"My Zoey." He breathed.

I didn't remember ever being as happy as I was just then.

_Love _

He pulled the blankets over both of us, still trying to catch his breath.

I snuggled up closer to him, a smile on my face.

"Damn, Zoey." He breathed. I grinned and laid on top of him, bringing my lips to his again.

We just stayed like that, kissing and holding each other, for what seemed like forever.

I finally pulled away and he groaned in protest. I kissed him softly, the smile not leaving my face. I laid my head on his chest, letting exhaustion take over.

I sighed, knowing that I was not alone in the grove.

"Nyx's Grove." A strained voice said. I turned around, knowing Kalona would be there.

He looked majorly uncomfortable and I could have sworn I saw pain in his amber eyes.

I nodded, looking around, finding something very familiar about the grove.

"I... I've been here before." I murmured absently. Kalona made his way towards me. He was eying me curiously.

"What do you mean?" He asked. "When have you been here before?"

"Thousands of years ago." I whispered. He just blinked at me and I gave him a look that clearly screamed _idiot! _

"I remember this place because A-ya remembers being here." I said with an exasperated sigh. I felt her jumping inside of me and I groaned.

"Not now, A-ya." I said. Kalona looked bemused. The joy and eagerness got more and more insistent until I couldn't ignore it anymore.

"Alright! Fine! Goddess!" I exclaimed as I closed my eyes. I threw my head back and my arms out, letting A-ya out completely.

Literally.

I sighed in relief as I slowly fell to the ground.

"Finally." I heard her breath. I opened my eyes and looked up at her. She grinned down at me before she gestured to the grove.

"This is Nyx's Grove." She said. I stood.

"Yeah. I kinda figured that out when Kalona said it." I said sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Speaking of, don't you want to, I dunno, throw yourself in his arms and suck face until I beg for death?" I said. She laughed and shook her head.

"I have more control than you do, Zoey." She said as she walked past me. My mouth dropped.

"Uh... excuse me?" I said, turning to face her. She looked at me over her shoulder as she ran her hands across the trees' trunks.

"You have to try so hard to stay away from him. And you still fail most of the time." She said calmly, a sparkle in her eyes.

"Okay. That's where you're wrong, A-ya." I started, stomping over to her. "It's not my fault that I love him. I have you as a part of my soul. I never asked for that!"

"It does not matter, Zoeybird." She said with a small smile. "You still love him. Not just me, but you yourself."

And, at that, she went over to her Warrior and into his arms. Kalona wrapped his arms around her protectively. He buried his face in her hair.

"My A-ya. My little lost love." He whispered, his voice so filled with love I nearly fell over.

"Yeah. See, he called me that, too." I said, still pissed. "He called me a lot of things, actually. Do you know how freakin' confusing that is! I mean, I live my whole life as Zoey Redbird and then, all of a sudden, some evil dude with wings busts up outta the ground in a pool of blood and calls me A-ya, saying that I'm his lost love, his maiden created to love him. And I'm all like, Well, who the hell am I?." I sighed and sat down on the ground in the middle of the grove as the two of them stared at me, stunned silent by my outburst.

I continued.

"And I would just like to point out that I can't be the maiden created to love you 'cause I am no maiden!" I said to Kalona. His eyebrows went up in amusement. I looked at A-ya. "And, no, it is not my fault that I love him. You're the one who jumps for joy every time he touches me. I seriously can't believe this shit!" I exclaimed. "Not only do I always have to save the world, but I'm the reincarnation of freakin dirt!"

I sat there, arms crossed across my chest, fuming.

"I find that offensive." A-ya said, breaking the deep silence that had fallen over us.

"Yeah. Well, I find Bird Boy over here offensive." I said, gesturing to Kalona.

"Zoey... I think you need a little break from Kalona." A-ya said.

"Why the hell would I want him... and vise versa?" I demanded, my voice sharp.

"He loves you, and you him." She said calmly.

I scoffed.

"Do not lie, Zoey Redbird." She said, her voice strong and filled with power.

I stood and went over to them. She stepped out of his arms, a smile on her face. I wrapped my arms around Kalona's neck.

"I hate it when she's right." I said before I kissed him hard on the mouth.

His hands rested on my hips and he pulled me to him. They slid around me and I let my hands slide down from around his neck to his chest.

I felt A-ya's anger and jealousy and I pulled away to look at her.

"I am created to love him, Zoey." She said. I could tell she was trying not to explode or something. "I cannot stand to see him with you." I immediately stepped out of his arms.

Her eyes still on me, her arms wound protectively around him, as his circled around her small frame. He brought his lips down to hers and I gasped. It was as if he was kissing me, not her; holding me, not her.

"Stop!" I gasped. They pulled away. Kalona glanced up at me. I bit my lip.

"Let her go." I said. He reluctantly did so.

"What is wrong, Zoey?" A-ya asked.

"I can feel everything you feel." I explained. She grinned knowingly and nodded as Kalona's arms went back around her from behind. I hissed and gritted my teeth.

"Can I just go to sleep?" I asked.

"But, Zoey. You are asleep." They said together.

"Really? Then why do I always feel exhausted after being with you?" I asked wryly. A-ya laughed.

"Admit it, Zoey. You cannot live without him." She said softly. I rolled my eyes.

"Yeah. Whatever. Time to come back home." I said, wrapping my fingers around her wrist and pulling her to me.

We wrapped our arms around each other. I smiled, closing my eyes, as I felt earth encircle us. I felt A-ya melt into me. I sighed, completely content.

I opened my eyes and smiled at Kalona.

"You really do love her, don't you?" I asked. He smiled and nodded. "I could see that. But... I thought you loved Nyx." His smile faded instantly.

_Nyx really needs to talk to him._ I found myself thinking.

Everything started to fade around the edges as Kalona pulled out of my head. But I wasn't having any of that.

I grabbed his wrist and pulled him to me.

"You aren't going anywhere." I said with a grin. I called the elements to me, asking them to keep a hold on the dream.

I ran my hands up and down his chest.

He fell to the ground, hiding his face in his hands.

"I love her, Zoey. So much." I heard him whisper. I knelt down in front of him.

"I know, I know." I whispered, my arms around him as he wept.

I saw a figure appear.

Her eyes were filled with a deep sadness as she made her way over to us. She nodded to me and I unwound my arms from around Kalona.

My arms were replaced by Nyx's. She wrapped her arms around him, earning a gasp from Kalona. I sat down, leaning back against one of the trees as Nyx, the Goddess of Night, comforted her weeping fallen Warrior.

He wrapped his arms around her as he cried, knowing he could never have what he wanted most.

The Goddess herself.

Nyx's eyes met mine and I had to look away. A goddess shouldn't have such sorrow, such pain, in their eyes that Nyx had in hers at that moment.

_He loves you, Nyx._ I thought, hoping she would hear me.

She closed her eyes and nodded.

_I know, Zoey._ Her voice was clear in my head, as if she had spoken aloud.

_He needs you. More than he needs A-ya, or me, or anyone else. All he needs, all he wants... is you._ I thought, my eyes never leaving hers.

She looked away, burying her face in the crook of Kalona's neck.

She pulled away after a while, looking directly into his eyes. I saw the pure and undeniable love in his as he looked at her.

"Kalona... you know that we cannot be," She started. "But that does not mean that I do not love you. You are very dear to me. You were one of my best Warriors that I had ever had. I did not want to do what I did. You should know that."

He said nothing but, instead, looked down.

Nyx touched his cheek and he, reluctantly, looked back at her.

"You have made many mistakes, Kalona. But... Zoey..." She trailed off, as if what she had to say was hard to say. And, suddenly, I knew exactly what she was trying to say and I felt my cheeks heat up.

"It shouldn't be too hard to say, Nyx." I said with a grin. She glanced at me before she looked back at her ex-Warrior.

"Before Zoey, I looked down on you. I didn't understand why you would pick Darkness when you were my warrior." She said. "But she made me realize why you chose it. I knew you loved me. That's the whole reason why you fell. But... I now know that maybe... I should have tried something else. I should have just talked to you about it, worked through it." I smiled warmly at the scene before me.

Kalona looked at me and I bit my lip. He smiled before he looked back at Nyx.

"If you could only see what I see." I said, looking at Kalona with awe and fascination.

They both looked at me.

"The pure and undeniable love that he has for you." I shook my head. "I've never seen anything like it. And from him."

I was stunned to the max when I saw Nyx blush the slightest bit. I narrowed my eyes at Kalona in concentration as he looked back at her.

_Gorgeous... amazing..._

I grinned. I knew it! I could hear their thoughts. But just bits an pieces.

"That's why your eyes are always on her." I said. He looked at me then, confused. "She is beautiful, isn't she? Then again, she is a goddess."

He looked back at her, the warm smile, so full of love, never leaving his face.

I narrowed my eyes at Nyx. She suddenly looked up at me and smiled. There was a sudden throbbing pain in my head and I groaned, my hands going to either side of my head.

"Zoey?" Kalona asked, concerned.

"Argh... just... fine." I moaned. I looked back up, not looking at Nyx.

She laughed softly.

"My mind should not be messed with, Zoeybird." She said. I glanced at her, then quickly away as I nodded.

"I do not understand." Kalona said, his eyes back on his goddess.

"I can get little bits and pieces of your thoughts. But it's über-hard." I explained.

He nodded.

Nyx took his face in her hands.

"I forgive you, Kalona." She whispered before she kissed his forehead.

It was then that I got one glance at her mind.

_My warrior... need him... save him... Zoey!_

The pain that erupted in my head was so strong that I screamed. I gripped my head, curling into a ball.

Okay. Never, EVER, try to get into a goddess' mind. They don't really like it.

The pain slowly subsided and I sighed in relief.

"Damn, Nyx." I said, rubbing my forehead. "It's not like I tried... that time." I blinked a few times, clearing the spots that had clouded my vision. My mouth fell when I could see.

Kalona had crumpled in on himself and Nyx's arms were around him. He groaned and lifted his head. His eyes widened and, with a joyous cry, he threw his arms around her, holding her tightly against him.

She laughed and hugged him to her.

I just stared at them, the control over my body just out of my reach.

Kalona pulled away and looked at Nyx. Then, he did something that I considered very risky. He took her face in his hands.

"I will not fail you, my goddess." He breathed. And, when he pressed his lips against hers, I swear I nearly died. I just stared at them with wide eyes, my mouth hanging open.

Nyx didn't do anything. She just sat there. Kalona let her face go and pulled away.

_Been waiting... just once..._

"I... you... but... and..." I couldn't form a coherent thought. I blinked a few times, shaking my head, trying to clear the shocked hazed that clouded my thought process.

"You... just... kissed..." I trailed off, looking between the two of them. "I. Am. So. Telling."

"Kalona..." Nyx said softly, pain in her eyes once more. It seemed as if he couldn't speak, like he couldn't find the words.

"He's been waiting to do that for a long time." I said slowly, still filled with shock. "He just needed to do that. At least once... awwww."

Kalona never took his eyes off of Nyx.

Nyx caressed his cheek before she stood. Kalona stood then.

"Wait... he's not leaving... is he?" I asked.

"No, Zoey. He is to stay here for a little while." Nyx said with a warm smile. The smile started to fade as she felt my presence. I tried to pull away, I honestly did. But her mind was just so... tempting. It called to me.

"Pull away, Zoey." Nyx's voice was firm and had a hard edge to it. I narrowed my eyes, trying to pull out.

_My warrior... finally... need him... Darkness... Otherworld..._

I fell to the ground, arching my back at the pain that continued to flow through me. I was panting, gasping for air as the pain disappeared.

_Zoey... stay out... my head... love... warrior... happy... beautiful... _

This time, the pain was so horrible that I was pulled out of the dream and I woke up with a gasp.

"Zoey!" Stark was hovering over me. He was dressed, and I found that I was, too. I saw my friends surrounding us.

Kalona stared at me, his eyes knowing.

"Zoey? Are you okay?" Stevie Rae asked, concerned. I closed my eyes before I opened them slowly. I nodded, sitting up. Stark moved over to sit by my side, but wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to him.

"What happened?" Shaunee asked.

"Did you have," Erin continued.

"Another dream?" They asked together. They shot daggers at Kalona.

"Guys. Don't." I was surprised at how weak I sounded. My voice was rough with pain. "He's good. Show them." I told Kalona. He stretched out his wings and I couldn't help but smile.

The others gasped while Aphrodite, Stark, Erik, and Heath just gawked at him.

"Told you he wasn't evil. The goddess herself forgave him." I said smugly. My voice faltered when I got to the goddess and I cringed, remembering the pain that came with being in her mind.

"What is it, love?" Loren asked. I shook my head.

"I'm too tired to explain. I want to sleep. I'm fine. Really." I reassured them.

"Why don't you come with me, Zoey?" Kalona asked me, a small, knowing smile on his face. I bit my lip, my cheeks going hot, and I shrugged. I looked at Stark. He didn't look too happy about it.

"Trust me, Stark. He's fine. He's not gonna kill me. Promise." I said.

"Not funny." He said disapprovingly. I grinned and kissed him softly before I pulled away and slid out of bed.

I went over to Kalona and wrapped my arms around him. He smiled down at me and kissed my forehead.

"Uh, Z?" Shaunee said.

"Are you sure it's safe for you to be with him?" Erin asked.

I glared at them, not able to contain the small snarl that escaped my lips. They all took a step back.

"Okay, okay. Just checkin'." They said. Before they were all gone I spoke.

"Kalona kissed Nyx." I said, knowing it would get the Twins' attention. They turned immediately.

"Details." They said seriously. I laughed and shook my head.

"Nothing to it. He kissed her. I'll tell all of you about it tomorrow." I said.

"Damn." they muttered.

"I swear, Z. It's like a whole other world when you sleep." Aphrodite said with a wry smile. "You never get a break."

I laughed as Kalona and I made our way out of the room.

I stopped in the doorway when I saw Neferet on his bed. She slept silently and I felt a tear fall down my face.

She looked just like the woman she used to be. The mother she had become.

I went over to the bed until I was leaning slightly against it.

"Zoey!" I didn't look up at Kalona's voice. The word was barely audible.

"Don't wake her. Please." He begged. I grinned. Neferet must have been a handful, even for him.

I slowly raised my hand and caressed Neferet's cheek as I wiped away my tears with my other.

Her eyes opened almost immediately. They flashed red when she saw me. She sat up, opening her mouth to say something, most likely, crazy.

"Don't, Neferet." I said softly. I was suddenly pulled into her head.

_That bitch! Why is she here! UGH! I can't stand her! I will kill her. To that I swear. _

I was shocked. Why, when was reading Nyx or Kalona, I only got bits and pieces of scattered thoughts? But when I was reading Neferet, I got full, coherent sentences?

"Why?" I blurted. She looked confused. "Why are you the way you are? Why can't you be like you used to? Why did you turn, Neferet?" I felt more tears in my eyes, and I didn't bother to hide them.

_Stupid, hormonal teenagers! They have no control over themselves whatsoever. So annoying. And weak. _

"You had become like a mother to me, Neferet." I said calmly. "Why did you turn? What is so fascinating about Darkness? What made you turn?"

"That is none of your business!" She hissed. She glared at Kalona. "Why did you bring her here?"

I shook my head.

"He's good, Neferet." I said. "Nyx forgave him. I saw it." And thinking about Nyx just made my head hurt.

I groaned. "My head is killing me."

"I'll be right back." Kalona said. Before he completely disappeared, he looked at Neferet. "Please. Do not kill her. Do as I say, just this once." Then he left.

"What the hell are you blabbing about?" Neferet demanded as I sat down on the edge of the bed, putting my face in my hands.

"I had a dream. Kalona was there. Nyx showed up. She forgave him. He kissed her. The end." I said. I moaned, again, in pain.

It was silent for a while before Kalona came back in and handed me two pills and a glass of water. I took them and smiled at him.

"What the hell!" Neferet exclaimed.

"Nyx forgave me." Kalona said. "Zoey tells the truth, Neferet. Something that neither of us, especially you, are familiar with."

I laughed almost silently and Neferet glared at me. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, loosen up, Neferet." I said, lying back on the bed, gripping either side of my head.

"Stop hurting." I groaned.

"Neferet, do you think you could help Zoey?" Kalona asked. I laughed so hard that tears were in my eyes.

"That would be a big fat no." I said once I composed myself.

"Why in the hell would I help her!" She snapped, her voice harsh and cold as ice.

"I have never seen or heard someone so hateful in my entire life." I said. "Okay, that wasn't supposed to come out."

There was a knock on the door before it opened. Loren bit his lip.

"Too late." He said. He leaned against the door frame.

"Loren. How wonderful to see you." Neferet said sweetly.

"Um, ew?" I said. Loren laughed, covering it with a cough.

"Shut up, bitch!" Neferet snapped. I smirked.

"Shut up? Seriously? What next? Are you gonna call me a butt-head?" Kalona and Loren laughed. Honestly? I was having a hard time not laughing, too. Neferet snarled at me and I raised a brow.

"I can do that, too." I said. "And I have fangs. Bam, baby!"

"Why are you here, Loren?" Neferet asked. His laughing cleared up.

_To warn Zoey that you were here. Unlike you, I value her sanity. _I heard him think to her. She hissed at him and I grinned. She turned on me.

"What are you smirking at?" She hissed, and evil glint in her eyes.

"That was funny." I said innocently. I looked at Loren. "But, I have to actual have it to value it. And I have no sanity."

"How...?"

"A gift from my goddess." I said answering Neferet's shocked gaze. "Yeah, see, our goddess is amazing. But you wouldn't know that because you're a fucked up bitch who has nothing but crazy going on in that head of yours."

I could sense that her and Kalona were shocked to high Hell. Loren was getting used to it by now.

"That's why I'm in here." I said. "I kept getting pulled into Nyx's head and I found out that goddess' don't really like their minds being read." I rubbed my forehead again, the throbbing not lessening any.

"Okay. Well, on that happy note, I'm going back to bed. Goodnight, Zoey." Loren said.

"'Night. Love you!" I said happily. He grinned and rolled his eyes.

"I love you, too, Zoeybird." He said warmly. I smiled at Neferet as I slowly laid back down on the bed.

"Ha ha ha ha ha, he loves me." I sang, sounding like a five-year-old. Kalona sighed as he laid down on the other side of the bed.

"What do we do with her?" Neferet asked in disgust.

"I'm... sleeping here." I said. "I can't move. What did you give me, Kalona?"

"Uh... nothing." He said innocently.

"Really? Doesn't feel like it." I muttered. And, suddenly, I knew what was going on.

"You drugged me!" I exclaimed.

"Are you hurting?" He countered. As a matter of fact, my head felt almost perfect. But that was besides the point.

"I can't move." I said, my voice harsh. "How is that any better?"

"Well... if you look at it like that, it's going to sound bad."

I groaned. "You hang out around me way too much."

Neferet sighed and pulled me all the way onto the bed so that my head was the pillows.

I closed my eyes.

"How long until I'm normal?" I asked.

"Since when were you ever normal?" Neferet asked with a sneer.

"When I was human." I said matter-of-factly.

"About an hour or two." Kalona said. Neferet laid beside him. She had put me on her side of the giant king sized bed, and she was now curled up beside him.

He wrapped his arm around her, pulling her to him. I looked at them in disgust.

"No sex while I'm in here. Please." I pleaded, my eyes widening. Neferet sneered at me.

"Sleep, Zoey." Kalona said, his voice hypnotic and seductive. I started drifting off to sleep when I was pulled back into Neferet's head.

_Spoiled bitch. She gets absolutely everything she wants and complains about it. _

"Having three boyfriends sounds good in theory, Neferet. But only in theory." I whispered before blackness fell over me like a thick blanket, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

I felt someone staring at me and I mentally sighed and opened my eyes.

Neferet was sitting beside me, staring down at me. I couldn't read her expression, though. There was reluctance, like she was being made to stay there and watch me. There wasn't any coldness in her eyes but she didn't look happy to see me, either.

"What time is it?" I asked sleepily.

"Seven thirty." She said, her voice emotionless.

"What's wrong now, Neferet?" I asked, sitting up. She looked around making sure no one was around. She looked back at me and her eyes flashed red.

She lunged at me. I froze when I felt her lips on mine.

I honestly had no idea what to do.

She buried her face in my neck and I gasped as her teeth sank into my skin there. I moaned as she drank from me, the pleasure causing me to soar higher and higher.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me. She bit harder and I moaned again, my body going hot and tingly.

_Zoey!_

I jerked back as Loren's voice echoed in my mind.

Neferet's hand came up to stroke my cheek, calming me. I reached up and covered her hand with mine. I intertwined my fingers with hers as she continued to drink from me.

She pulled away after a while. She gazed down at me. I glanced at our joined hands and immediately let her hand go.

"Uh..." I couldn't make anything else come out. She grinned and kissed me again. The kiss was filled with lust and desire and was totally hot. She pulled the covers over us. I felt her hands slip under my shirt as she pushed it up and over my head. Her hands rubbed up and down my sides.

I took her shirt off.

It wasn't long before we both lay almost naked on the bed, her on top of me. My arms went back around her.

Suddenly, sense snapped back into me, and I pushed her away.

"What the hell?" I gasped. She whimpered as she buried her face in the crook of my neck. I saw Loren standing there by the door, his mouth hanging open, along with Stark and Kalona.

I just blinked in shock.

I tapped Neferet on her back with one of my fingers.

"Um... Loren, Stark, and Kalona's eyes are about to fall out of their heads. I think you should stop." I said. Neferet got dressed faster than I could blink. She sneered down at me. She slowly and deliberately wiped away the blood that dripped down her mouth. I just blinked at her as she walked out of the room. I could feel her satisfaction and amusement.

It was all a trick.

Thank the goddess.

I just sat there, staring at my shocked guys.

"And I have lost it." I said bluntly.

**I honestly didn't want to stop writing here but I knew I had to. SEVEN PAGES! I hope you liked it. **

**BTW: For those of you who didn't figure it out, Neferet was just using Zoey to Imprint with her. **

**REVIEW! **

_**~Jessica Baylin~**_


	5. ON HOLD!

**I've uploaded the novel I have been working on for the past two to three years. I have two on my account but that's because i didn't want them posted in the crossovers. I wanted EVERYONE to see it. So... whether you pick Vampire Union or Vampire Union a Jessica Baylin novel doesn't matter. It's the same fanfic. I have it completed and am already working on the second one. So you wont have to wait so long for updates. BUT, since i want to have the sequel done before i really start updating VU (Vampire Union), i have put ALL stories on HOLD! You'll see that in my Important Notes in the first chapter of Vampire Union. Everything you need to know is in the A/N. Read it and review. I hope you like this. and, as soon as i finish with Jessica Baylin's life and journeys, i will start updating my other stories. Mind you, now, I will have AT LEAST five to six sequels. Well... five or six TOTAL. That's what i had planned from the beginning. Again, in the A/N. I am truly sorry that you have to wait so long for updates of my other fanfics, but there is Twilight, House of Night, AND Vampire Academy in Vampire Union. Read... and ENJOY!**

_**~Emily**_


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